The Secret Admirer (A Kim Taehyung fanfic)

36. Murder

"Are you crazy?!" He shrieked, eyes as wide as saucers.

"I know." I mumbled quietly, my eyes still averted from him.

"You could've hurt yourself!" He yelled in complete shock.

"I know." I groaned.

"You could've been caught!" He screamed, his voice getting higher and higher and louder and louder every time he spoke.

"I know." I said in the same zombie like voice.

"You could've died." He finished off, his voice slightly croaky towards the end since he didn't stop to take any breaths throughout his panicked shock.

"I know." I sighed, not bothering to argue back. He was right. Everything I did for my father was dangerous. I could've hurt myself. I could've got caught. And I could've died. But it was difficult to explain why I did it. It wasn't just about getting rid of those pictures. It was more than that. It was protecting Jimin. And it was for Bo Mi.

"So what if those pictures got out? At least you wouldn't get hurt. Why would you do this, Seoyeon?" Jimin said quietly.

"So what if those pictures got out?" I spat.

Jimin's eyes went from sad to momentarily scared and then he became confused.

"Everyone would blame me, Jimin."I answered back quickly. "You're the boy who had his heart broken, I'm the girl who was playing around with guys." I yelled.

"That's not tru-"

"People still hate me. And still I wanted things to be normal again." I said tiredly. "I thought I was so close and then turns out he's my dad. I can't escape from my past. It's not something I can change." I added, growing frustrated.

A huge flow of emotion washed over me and tears just began to spill from my eyes. I hated that I was crying. I didn't need this. I didn't want this to happen at all. And having Jimin watch me break down like this made me want to crawl into a hole and never reappear out onto the surface.

"Things will get better, but not like this. You can't do that to yourself." He said, his face becoming soft when seeing me in my state.

"I know it was stupid. But getting rid of those pictures meant I could clear up whatever I could and I could start again." I said.

"But I've got you and-"

"Yes, but for how long?" I asked, cutting him off again. "This isn't gonna last forever, we can't be like this forever. Sooner or later I'm gonna have to leave."

"What if I don't want you to go, huh?" Jimin shot back, tears reaching the brim of his eyes now. "You can't just keep leaving and coming back, it's not fair." He grumbled, adding in a curse under his breath as tears slipped his eyes.

My eyes widened at that. A tight knot grew in my stomach making me want to throw up the red velvet cake I had eaten when I was reminded off everything I had done to Jimin.

"It hurts for me too." He cried. "I couldn't let you go and you're here now, but even now I can't do anything." He shot.

"I...uh.." I fumbled, partly because I had a hard time trying to stop my breath from hitching. I looked over at Jimin who was pouting with his red cheeks and body shaking.

"When I needed you, you weren't here. And now you are, do you expect me to give you up so easily?" He said through gritted teeth, to stop his voice from being croaky again.

"I'm sorry, it was a mistake for me to come here. I should've stayed at Areum's or found another place. I'm sorry." I said quietly.

"Shut up." Jimin mumbled, wiping his face with his sleeve.