Decisions, Decisions (Beau Brooks)

Chapter 30- My Favourite Colour

*TW*

I rubbed my eyes, blinking constantly trying to adjust my eyes to the dark. I see a figure standing at the end of my bed, I can't quite make it out. I then see a person standing there, smiling at me with big piercing eyes. It grabs my foot and pulls me out of the hospital bed. I hit the floor hard, attempting to grasp the ground beneath me but I could not move, I could not speak.

Suddenly I am standing on a beach. Clutching my shoes in my right hand while my left is stuck in my coat pocket. My toes are buried in the sand as I inhale a deep breath of the cold sea air. I drop my shoes and begin to remove my coat. I was unaware why I was doing this. They drop onto the sand beneath me and I run into the sea In front of me, with no intention of returning. Drowning.

I wake up in the cold hospital bed again, in a panic. "Where's Mommy?" I hear Beau ask behind the door. I look over to the corner of the room and see the figure glaring at me, disappearing into the darkness as Beau flicks the light on, clutching Belle in his arms. Why am I seeing things that are not there?

"There's mommy!" Exclaims Beau, as I look at my baby girl who greets me with a smile. "Hi Belle!" I say taking her from Beau, cuddling her into my body. "I brought a picnic!" Smiles Beau, raising a picnic basket into the air. I put Belle down onto the floor with some toys and Beau pulls cake and a knife out of the basket. He cuts two slices, one for me and one for him, gently resting the knife on the table at the bottom of the hospital bed. "Where did you get the cake?" I question, taking a bite. "It's delicious". "It was left over from the other day." Beau stutters. "Oh" I say, resting the plate with a half eaten slice of cake on it, on the table.

"Now Miss Belle, time for your bottle." Beau says, picking Belle off the floor and grabbing her bottle from the basket.

On the armchair beside the bed, Beau and Belle lay sleeping with an empty bottle pressed between them. Beau's phone was faced down on the locker between my bed and his chair. I turned it over to see one new message; from 'K'.

"Can't wait to see you later babe, let me know when you're done. I love you ❤️"

My felt my heart sink in my chest. Beau is cheating on me?! But, we have a child together, we're engaged? And now I'm pregnant again? And my fiancé is cheating????

I grab the knife from the table and run into the bathroom,slamming it and locking the door behind me. "CARA! OPEN THE DOOR!" Beau screams, banging as hard as he could on the door. I could hear Belle screaming behind him. "WHO'S 'K' BEAU!?" I sob. Beau becomes silent. "I'm so sorry Cara, please open the door and let me explain." I hear Beau choke up. "Please open the door, give me the knife." "No Beau, I can't. This is my relief." I respond.

"I'm so sorry I can't be your relief." Beau cries. I hear him run from the door.

Girls like me are hardly ever wanted. I hold the knife against my wrist. I pause for a moment and feel a tear rolling down my cheek before I press down hard and pull the knife across my skin. I hear keys wriggling on the lock as I repeat this over and over again. The door opens as I lie on the floor, covered in red. My favourite colour had always been red.