Decisions, Decisions (Beau Brooks)

Chapter 25-Cold

I look at the clock on my locker. '05:53' I still haven't had any sleep. The sound of Belle crying, echoes through the monitor. "I'll get her" moans Beau, tiredly. "No, you sleep. I've been awake for a bit anyway." I reply kicking the covers off and trudging out of the bed into Belle's room.

I turn off the baby monitor, so Beau doesn't hear Belle crying anymore. I stroll over to the crib where Belle lay, crying. I rest my hands on the bars of the cot. I look down at Belle and see her upset face, roaring for me to pick her up. I look down at her feeling empty and cold inside. Everything inside was telling me to pick her up but I just couldn't. When I look into her eyes, i see innocent little Mark. He never did anything to hurt anyone, he never deserved the pain he was put through.

I turn away from Belle and begin to cry. I slowly walk back until I hit the wall and fall down it until I'm huddled into a ball,rocking back and forth,sobbing. "oh god, Mark! I'm so sorry." I cry out.

Beau bursts in the door and picks Belle up where she had been laying, screaming for minutes. He walks over to me, with a settled Belle in his arms and pulls me up into a hug. I cry onto his shoulder until I feel little hands tipping my face. I peek up and see big blue eyes staring at me. Belle and Mark had the same eyes.

"Get away from me!" I scream, pushing Beau and belle away and I run out of the room, across the hall and into the bathroom locking the door.

I slide down the back of the door with my knees tucked up to my chest with my head in between my legs and my hands resting on the back of my head.

I feel so numb.