Lovely || Demi Lovato

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hello, welcome home

A M E L I A

The walk to Demi's room tested my strength as a searing, burning sensation traveled up my leg reminding me of my impulsive decision that usually helped my pain, but now only made me feel worse.

What is going on with me?

"My room is over here, Amelia." Demi called as I know she saw me purposefully pass her room, her body sitting on the bed tensely, hands placed on her knees and feet flat against the floor.

She looked pissed.

"I'm sorry." I whispered looking down to my feet as she motioned for me to close the door behind me.

I sighed.

I hadn't even been here a day and I was always fucking things up.

"Sit down." Demi said hardly, "you do not run away when I'm trying to talk to you. I know you were overwhelmed, Amelia, I know you don't have to tell me everything, but I am responsible for your wellbeing while you are here. You need to at least tell me what you're doing, monkey. You can't just run away from me like that." Demi's tone slowly got softer as she watched me crumble before her, my shoulders shaking from sobs. I could see the way she got upset, overthinking the outcomes of what I could have been doing.

"I'm sorry."

Like I said before. I had nothing else to say to her.

I genuinely am sorry.

I'm sorry I'm so fucked up.

I'm sorry I'm such a waste of space.

I'm sorry that I want to die.

I'm sorry that I hurt so unspeakably much.

I'm sorry for all of it.

"Amelia, you don't have anything to be sorry for, but you scared me so much, peanut." She croaked pulling me onto her lap as I shuffled closer to her. My legs were on either side of her stomach, and my arms looped around her neck, my head dropping to rest between her neck and chest.

"I didn't mean to." I sniffled.

I didn't mean to cut. I didn't mean to throw my streak away and surrender to the demonic choir in the back of my mind.

I didn't mean to.

"I know you didn't mean to, Mia. I know, calm down for me. I'm not mad, but I do want to know why you were so out of it baby." Demi stroked my hair as I lifted my face to see her.

"I feel like I mad your Mom upset. She doesn't look very happy about me being here. Im sorry." I whispered softly.

Demi's hands cupped my cheeks as she looked devastated by my feelings towards this very odd situation.

"She isn't mad, Amelia. She's just having a bad day I'm such, She was more then excited to have you stay here." Demi promised.

I nodded my head full-heartedly wanting to believe her, but I didn't—I couldn't.

The longing glances Dianna had towards me, of the unexplainable teary eyes, it was as if just the sight of my was her weakness.

"Demi what about my school?" I laughed softly remembering my school that was an hour and a half away.

"Duh, we're gonna get you into online. I don't like those friends of yours." Demi said matter-of-factly which made my face fall as I pouted up at her. "Hey, none of that! They're rude, and until they show me they can be nice, I really don't want you hanging out with them."

That's fine by me.

"Okay." I whispered softly. Demi smiled widely at me, before the both of us went back downstairs. Thankfully Demi forgetting about my five minute bathroom trip.

Dallas smiled softly at the two of us, pulling me into a small hug as I sat between her and Demi again. She had softly offered me a water but I declined, wanting nothing more to just disappear as I felt absolutely horrendous for worrying Demi, and then lying to her.

She was letting me stay with her to avoid the inevitable loneliness of my life.

The least I could do was show her that I was appreciative of it.

And yet, all I had managed to accomplish so far was stir up drama.

Not even a day, and I was already wishing to just disappear.

Maybe life is better completely alone.

•••
Sooo, maybe nobody's gonna find out, maybe Amelia's just gotten used to hiding her secrets.