Letters From A Stranger || James and Lily ||

Let Go

Disclaimer : I'm just an English major with a passion for writing who definitely doesn't own Harry Potter.

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Chapter 33

James was once again standing in front of his painting. It was almost finished now. He stared at it fondly, proud of how it had turned out. It definitely was his best work till date.

James looked at the clock. It was about to strike one and he was craving for a midnight snack. The other occupants of the dorm however, were deep in sleep. So he grabbed the map and his invisibility cloak from the drawer next to his bed and made his way down to the common room.

He didn't have to go much because of what he saw in the common room. Lily Evans was sitting on the floor by the fireplace, her hair in a messy bun, around six textbooks open in front of her, parchments filled with notes scattered around. She was staring down one of the sheets of parchment with deep concentration. Hazel was curled up next to her, purring softly in sleep.

"Lily?" James said, beyond surprised.

She looked up, startled then relaxed seeing that it was him. "What are you doing out here this late?" Her voice was slightly slurred from sleepiness.

"I should be the one asking you that." he said, moving to sit across her.

"Isn't it obvious?" she asked, gesturing to the books in front of her.

James sighed. "It's one in the morning, Lily. And you haven't slept."

"Because I have to study." she said, as if it was the most obvious thing, which according to her it was.

James slowly leaned forward, closing the books one by one. She tried to stop him but he ignored her. "Year end exams are a whole month away."

"I know." she said, pulling the books back towards herself, "But I have to study."

James stopped trying to pry the books away from her to take in her appearance for a moment. There were dark circles under her eyes which contrasted heavily with her pale skin. She looked tired and obviously, sleep deprived. "How long have you been staying up late?"

"A week." she said softly, looking away from him and down at the wooden floor.

"Why are you doing this, Lily?"

He genuinely couldn't understand why someone as smart as her would want to sacrifice her sleep and health for the exams that were a month away. And it wasn't even their OWLs or NEWTs year.

"You don't understand, James." she said rubbing tiredly at her eyes, "I can't afford to get low grades."

"It's not NEWTs." he argued, "It's not going to affect your career."

"I know but I'm doing this to prove to myself."

"Prove what?"

Lily sighed before putting the books away. She finally looked up to see his gentle eyes staring down at her in concern. And that made her want to tell him what she had never told anyone. "I have to prove that I deserve what I have. Magic wasn't something I was supposed to have. I didn't inherit it. It was something I didn't ask for but was still given. I have to prove to everyone here who thinks that I don't deserve it and to my family because they shouldn't ever regret having me as a daughter and to myself because there are times when I wish I didn't have magic."

It happened very rarely that James Potter was left speechless. But right then, he didn't know what to reply to her. What was he supposed to say to someone who doubted themselves? He was never taught that. So he said the first thing that came to his mind when he realized how vulnerable she looked right then.