You Are The One

Ch32: Right By Your Side

After na malagay lahat ng barricade, Rob went for a shower first, then Alex. Rob prepared hot tea while his housemate was in the bathroom.

Dahil malakas ang ulan, sinara nila ung glass door sa porch area and pulled the couch so it's facing the garden. They sat at each of the far end of the couch and shared a pot of hot green tea while watching the rain pour.

Rob: I haven't done that for a long time~~

Alex: Ako ren! And it kinda feels refreshing. Parang you're washing all your troubles away or something like that

Rob: Troubles? What's been in your mind lately?

Alex: About Josh. Yesterday he opened up about moving in with him again. And I really can't give him a straight answer. I always tell him that I'll think about it, but to tell you honestly, I haven't been thinking about it at all. Maaalala ko lang if ireremind nya ko.

Rob: What does your heart tells you?

Alex: That I want to stay.

Rob: Then why don't you?

Alex: Super torn ako.

Rob: Torn how?

Alex: I want to stay 100% but you know what, Josh told me he's jealous of you... And I don't want him to feel like that all the time. Everyday, hearing his sighs when he's dropping me off from work, ugh... I always feel gutted.

Rob: Jealous? Why would he be?

Alex: Di'ko alam. That we're living in the same house?

Rob: Hold on... Did you tell him~~

Alex: NO! No way! I never told him anything about that other contract!

Rob: Okay... So he shouldn't need to worry too much then

Alex: Yeah, I told him that... Ewan ko ba~~

Then silence.

Alex popped in a very sensitive topic that she doesn't have an idea if she'll go beyond the line, but she tried nonetheless~~

Alex: You told me before that you're not entitled to be happy, why is that?

Rob: When did I say that?

Alex: Makakalimutin naman 'to! Nung nasa Nueva Ecija tayo, sa may~~

Rob: I'm just joking. Yeah, naaalala ko. Sa may swing~

Alex: So?

Rob: *he started to sound serious* My mom already told you that my brother got into a car accident three years ago, right?

Alex: Yep.

Rob: I killed him. I killed them. And not just them but other people too. *and his eyes are starting to get watery*

Alex: ...

Rob: We were going to Tagaytay to meet Mom and Dad. It was their wedding anniversary, and the family decided to celebrate it in Highlands. I was driving together with my brother, my sister-in-law, and Sophie who was just 2 years old that time. I was adjusting the car's GPS when a drunk truck driver came swerving our lane, it was too late when I saw it. The truck hit us and then went straight to the cliff. Our car just flew through the air. Then we hit a cyclist, another car and a jeepney. It was a big road accident that year. My brother, his wife, the cyclist and the car driver were all dead on arrival. There were several jeepney passengers injured. Sophie was lucky to be alive. And me, I regret being here. I took away my brother's life and his wife. I took other people's. I took Sophie's future to grow up with a father and a mother. I took my parent's other child. I am a monster.

And he started bursting into tears. Alex put her cup of tea on the floor and moved closer to Rob and started rubbing his back up and down and in a circular movement. He just cried. And for a moment, Alex felt guilty for even asking him that question. She then wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder. And they both stayed like that for a while.

Alex: *while still hugging him and in a mellow voice* Sorry... for even opening it up...

Rob: *still crying and sniffing* Why does God take the ones we love away?

Alex: If I could give you an answer, I would. I am so sorry you are hurting. I am so sorry this has happened to you. There is nothing you could have done differently to change the course of life or to change God's plan. You don't need to blame yourself for everything. It was an accident. You cannot take responsibility for their passing. You cannot carry the weight of their death on your shoulders like a lead blanket, dragging you further and further down.

Rob: It should've been me...

Alex: Don't say that. Yes, you are lucky to be alive. And for that, you need to be thankful for. Your brother wouldn't want seeing you like this. I know he is proud of you and is so filled with love for you. You are a good person, a good man, a good son, a good friend.

Rob: *sniffs*

Alex: Grieve, feel and let yourself heal. Then forgive yourself and let go. The world needs your smiling face. You deserve to be happy, Rob. Everyone does.

To lighten the mood, Alex volunteered to cook lunch - Sopas - perfect for the rainy and cold weather. They played Uno cards while eating and continued watching Stranger Things afterwards.

In bed, Alex started coughing hard. She still feels under the weather but could not forget that intimate moment with Rob. She had a glimpse of how vulnerable Rob was despite him being strict at work, and she still feels responsible for even opening that sensitive topic up.

While Rob, on the other hand, just remembers how Alex hugged and comforted him that day and a smile flashes across his face like light moves on water.

He is fighting sleep and his eyes close again, but the smile still lingers on his face, as he finally surrender to slumber.