Ups and Downs- Diza Baby #2

Chapter nineteen- wait...what

November 17th  2020
2 years 7 months
Lizas pov
I woke up to feeling the same way I have felt for weeks. I've been feeling the same tiredness, mild cramp and emotionalness for weeks. At first I thought my period was coming but it's still not here and I'm actually just becoming so annoyed with feeling like this. I keep being mean to David just because I'm frustrated and I'm being the worst mom ever. The worst part is both mason and David are the best to me still. They bring me my favorite drink from Starbucks in the mornings that I struggle to get up, they have so many days of doing nothing just because I'm not up to it and mason is constantly bringing me flowers he finds in the yard which is the cutest thing. I suppose feeling so much guilt isn't helping my situation but truth is I really just want this all to be over. David's being suggesting a go to the doctors for a few days now but being the stuck up person I am I just keep pushing him away even though he's trying to help me. I rolled over to see David still fast asleep. I put my arm over him and snuggle closely into his warm body. He is only wearing underwear and the feel of his skin on mine is the best feeling in the world. "I'm sorry" I whispered into his chest. "I've been so mean lately and there's really no need for it, it's just because I am frustrated with feeling so tired and in pain that I'm just taking it out on you and mason and I'm so so sorry. You both are the best things that have ever happened to me and I love you both so so so much.you are actually the best human in the world and I can't believe how lucky I got to find you. I love you" I said ranting even though he is asleep. "I love you too baby" he replied sleepily. I went red instantly. "I didn't know you were awake" I said. "I know you wanted me to hear it though" he replied. "Well yeah I guess so" I replied. "I forgive you and I also love you so so so much too" he replied pulling me closer and tighter into his chest. I felt a few tears roll down my cheeks for no particular reason. "Aw Baby why are you crying?" David asked me. "I really don't even know, my emotions are literally everywhere. There's really so much going on in my head" i replied wiping my tears with my sleeve. "Liza I really think you should go to the doctors" David said sounding super worried. "I promise I'm fine, it's probably still just my period but it's just late" I replied. He raised his eyebrow at me knowing it was the best idea to go to the doctor and gave me a look. I picked up my phone from the bedside table and unlocked it before going onto google and searching my symptoms, not always the best idea but I did it anyways, I opened the first article and read it out loud. "Feeling tired, emotional and feeling cramp? Well it is most likely that you are due a period soon or are on your period. These symptoms usually occur in a normal cycle but could also be symptoms of pre-" I stopped. "Why did you stop?" David asked. I turned my phone to him and he read through what I had just read out before coming to the part I had stopped at. "Could also be symptoms of pregnancy" he also stopped after reading that. "Wait... what?" He said "do you think" he trailed off. "I don't know" I replied. We both just kind of sat and stared at each other processing the information. I have been feeling like this for weeks and the last time me and David had sex was around a month ago so it is possible. It all makes sense, the symptoms plus the fact my period is late.
I might be pregnant.

After a while longer of me and David trying to understand what just happened, I decided to take a test just to be sure. I took one of the most accurate clear blue ones and went to the bathroom. I peed on it before setting it on the counter and washing my hands. I then set the free minute timer on my phone before going back into our room and sitting on the bed in David's arms which he had open for me. So many thoughts are going round my head
'If I am pregnant, I'm so excited and I'm gonna have a freaking baby! But what if I'm not pregnant. What if I'm getting my hopes up and it's a negative result like all of the other tests I've taken in the past few months'
'But what if I have another miscarriage or I get icp again and the baby has to suffer'
'What if David doesn't want another baby, he's being so quiet and I hate it'

I try to push the thoughts out of my head especially the last one. "What if I am pregnant?" I asked David quietly. "Then I'm going to be super happy because this is what we wanted" he said smiling. Oh my god that smile. "Do you want this?" He asked looking more concerned at why I wasn't smiling. "I really do with my everything as we have been trying since June but I'm so unbelievably scared" I replied. "What are you scared of?" He asked. "Everything. That I flip the test and it will be negative or if I have another miscarriage or if I have icp again which is highly likely. It's just all so scary" I explained. "I know babe but if it is positive then we can take it one step at a time and I'll always be here for you and if it's negative it's the exact same. No matter what the result is I'm always going to love you and no matter what I'll stay right with you" he said. This is why I seriously love this man.

A/n
Kind of short today but dun dun dunnnnnn clifhangerrrr. The next chapter will be uploaded soon so be ready.
-Emily