Like a Grape (Shidge AU) [Book 1]

"I was her big brother..." (40K Special)

Okay! Today we're going to travel all the way back to February of 2017. Pretty long time ago, right? Well I guess it just depends on the person.

Anyways, in February of that year, KanGian had a dream. A very odd and depressing dream (like usual) but it was still a dream. This dream, was the inspiration of "Like a Grape".

Late March of that same year, the Prologue came out as well as a couple more chapter as the book exploded, reaching 1K views in just 12 days of being published.

But I though, though you guys might want to know of the inspiration of the book that many of you tell me you loved.

Let's start from the beginning. That February, after I woke up from the dream, I couldn't help but to write down my favorite more emotional parts that I loved before I forgot them. Then I started to develop the plot. Though the original plot was drastically different from the one you know and loved.

First difference, the title. What you know as "Like a Grape" was originally suppose to be "From the Inside". The change in title was actually a last minute change unlike a lot of the other changes. I decided I wanted an out of the ordinary title instead of a typical edgy title. Because of that change, it made the book a ton more memorable and a bit more intriguing.

Second, main character. In "Like a Grape", the main character was Pidge right? Yes, but in "From the Inside" the plot focused less on Pidge and more on her big brother, Matt.

Third, yes I said big brother. In the original book, Pidge and Matt were not twins but instead it was like the original series were Matt is her older brother.

Fourth, Kaota never existed. This change was actually done much earlier. In the original dream, Pidge didn't have an alien stuck in her mind that occasionally possessed her. No, instead, Pidge was taken capture as they corrupted her with dark quintessence. This gave her more of a corrupted personality that she couldn't seem to control. She was fully aware of what was going on and actually was triggered easily when she was mad as her mind would take things more to an extreme. Shiro was the only person who could calm her down.

Fifth, Pidge kept audio journals. She had many recordings of her feeling and thought. Princess Allura was the only one who had access to these as she tried to use these to help Pidge. She'd analyze her current state and tried to be like a therapist to help Pidge overcome this corruption.

Sixth, they found Matt locked up and had saved him, but a little after was when Pidge was captured. During the time she was captured, the green lion had chosen Matt to be it's Paladin. When she came back, Matt was willing to give the position back to Pidge, but because of her mental state, it was suggested she not take the place back until she was better.

Seventh, in "Like a Grape" Pidge lost every one of her family members, but in "From the Inside" her father was the only one she lost. But Matt loses one more, Pidge. Although, Matt doesn't die, Pidge does. And actually focused more on Matt recovering from this and living on. Pidge went insane instead of getting better, and believe it'd be better for Voltron if she "killed the beast before it killed Voltron". And so she killed herself.

Eighth, every one knew very well of Pidge's death, but Allura and Shiro were the only ones who knew Pidge was the one who killed her. Pidge had staged it so it looked like it was an accident, and so Allura, trying to spare everyone's feeling, told them it was all an devastating accident while Shiro was too devastated to even speak up at all. In fact, Shiro hadn't spoken a word since her death.

Now that you're all caught up. While searching though the old files on my old tablet, I found the two passages I wrote after waking up from the dream. Here's the one I found the most emotional as it was simply titled, "I was her big brother..."

ENJOY!

***

"Okay," Princess Allura started as she was discussing a matter she personally didn't want to talk about: Pidge's death. "In six hours we will be landing on Earth. It was decided that Pidge would be buried on Earth. Her funeral will be held shortly after we land."

Allura could see the blank and grey faces on the team. Nobody took Pidge's death well, Shiro having it the worst.

"Any questions?" Allura asked, but just like she expected no one said anything. She sighed as she asked again. "No one?"

The room was silent for a few seconds, that is until Matt spoke up. "I have one!" He said with a lot of confidence which really confused her.

"What might that be?" She questioned.

"When were you going to tell us the truth about Katie's death?" Matt stated. All eyes were on him.

"I don't know what you are talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about! When were you going to tell us that Katie's death was not an accident?! When were you going to tell us that she committed suicide?! And more importantly, when you going to tell us that she committed suicide and it was all our fault?!"

Allura's heart sank. He found out the truth.

"Now it hurts a lot to find out that your sister is dead, but it hurts a whole lot more to find out she committed suicide. But it's the worst feeling in the WORLD to find out that you were one of the reasons why she did it!" Matt exclaimed.

"Matt, you need to understand--"

"NO! I don't think you understand! Did you think you could just tell us years later 'Oh, yeah. I lied. Katie just committed suicide all time ago. Oh, and it's because of you.' Just create a bigger scar why don't you!"

"Matt..."

"We made her think she was a monster, dangerous, and was eventually going to kill us all. We made her think she was the beast that was going to destroy Voltron! And the worst part of all of this was that you knew long before she committed suicide that she was thinking this way. You knew the whole entire time, PRINCESS!"

Coran immediately stood up and said "Don't you DARE take that tone with the--"

"NO! Not ONCE did she think that maybe she should tell us that we were hurting Katie! That maybe we should know what we are doing wrong, so we can correct it before its too late! But its far too late now!"

Everyone was silent for what felt like forever.

"But it's not all Allura's fault. I was too blind to see my sister was hurting! I just assumed it was all okay! I didn't take the time to even think about her! I was probably the WORST big brother to her! WE were the worst team to not think about ALL of the members! We tore Katie to pieces to the point that she thought suicide was the only option!"

"But Shiro..." Matt paused. It had come apparent that Matt was holding back tears. "Shiro did his absolute best to make her feel loved. To let her know she wasn't a monster. To let her know she was important. But it was obviously not enough..."

Tears started the fall down Matt's eyes. "Because we all should of done it. More importantly, I should have done it. I was her big brother... And now I will never get the chance to tell her how terribly sorry I am for being so horrible."

At this point Matt couldn't hold it back. He was crying.

"You found the recordings, didn't you?" Allura said sounding depressed.

Matt slowly shook his head in confirmation.

"Did anyone else listen to them with Matt?" Allura asked. One by one Hunk, Lance, and Keith rose their hands. "I guess you all know the truth then. Yes, Pidge committed suicide. I'm sorry for not telling you guys earlier. See you guys in six earth hours."

Allura than left the room without anymore words. Everyone eventually left but no one said anything.