Star ; Bastille

Star ; 10

Me; It's cake to my knowledge that my phone app has been recently hacked. While I was not aware of it straight away...I am now. On that app had not only numbers of other people and my management team...but my private life.

Me; I know many of you have been theorising my relationship (fuck knows why). I'm a private man. I don't want nor need to know about your your personal lives — so that means you don't need to know about mine.

Me; But since these hackers aren't going to drop the subject. Yes me and my WIFE are grieving. Her name is/was Lena Campbell Smith, her BROTHER wanted to call her red...you can understand why.

Me; Yes, earlier this month on Radio 1 I lied. Both me and my wife lied because...fans turning up at our door is fucking unacceptable. Now hacking? Just because you wanted to know whether what I said was the truth. I'm sorry I lied. But...this is disgusting and violating.

Me; Me and my family are moving once again. I'm giving this account and every other account to my management team. As from this afternoon these will be my last few posts on this account from me.

I then put my phone down. As soon as I do I get a text. Thankfully not from Craig or another verified twitter user, but it's from Lila. And on iMessage. We've completely stopped using WhatsApp since this morning. It feels weird to talk over iMessage.

— Lila; I was not expecting that while sitting in the classroom next to Gray.
Me; How come you're in his classroom.
— Lila; For his show and tell Gray drew a picture of Lena and...he cried when some fuck faced children laughed.
Me; Shit. Is he okay?
— Lila; Yeah. He's happy now because he remembered it's his birthday tomorrow. I owe the little shit a early birthday present...I mean it was a traumatic day for him.
Me; How about if take us out to dinner tonight? Then we can break the news that we want to move? Well you can. You're better at explaining things than me
— Lila; That sounds really fucking awesome!
Me; Wicked x
— Lila; xoxo

She seems happier. I genuinely think she is and that it's not some kind of faux charade. After that text conversation I run upstairs to get showered. Lately both me and Lila haven't...really been bothered to clean up after ourselves. I mean of course we bath Gray every few days and wash his clothes and make sure he has clean things. But us two on the other hand are slacking. I'm hoping that from today things will be easier.

I put the water on in the shower and then get underdressed whilst outside of it. As soon as I step into the bathtub the water beams down on my head...it feels good, but I also feel like I can't physically be bothered to wash or whatever. Thankfully for the sake of humanity...and my wife I grab the shower gel and give my whole body a once over. I feel the soap suds get under my finger nails. The built up grime washes down my now clean body pretty fast.

I've never let myself get in this state since I was a fucking virgin.

I then shampoo my hair. After I mash the strawberry smelling gloop it into my hair I stand under the hose...but I don't move. I don't wash it out. Even when I'm basically probably boiling my head. "Dan!" I hear someone yell over the shower. "Huh?!" I yell at the top of my voice. "Nothing!" That makes me smile, Lila probably thought it would be strange of me to be having a shower.

With that I then wash the shampoo out and pick up the soap, as I do so the door flies open. "S-shit!" I stumble back in shock as Lila gives me that 'whatever' look and proceeds to shut the door after yelling down to Gray he can only have one early birthday present. "What are you doing in here?" I mean...self consciously I tug on the shower curtain and hide my body around it. "I need a hug." I look down awkwardly. "I'm kind of in the middle of a shower..." I say totally not point out the obvious.

"I don't give a fuck." Lila says as she kicks off her pastel pumps and literally climbs into the bath. "Ow!" She cries out in pain turning the shower on cold. "Jesus Christ, Dan! That was boiling. You're red raw!" With that she then hugs me messaging my back with cold water. She just...clings onto me. "Babe..." my voice trails off as I'm pretty sure I hear a sob.

"He misses her too..." I close my eyes and don't say anything. Saying nothing sometimes is better than saying anything at all. "When will this fucking end?"