Star ; Bastille

Star ; 32

12/02/19

It's been a couple of weeks since I told Lila about my idea of a divorce. Lila begged and begged me not to, but in the end I feel like it's going to make us both happier.

"Adulting fucking sucks." Soph whispers under her breath as we sit together on the sofa watching a stupid program. I nod my head head as I take a sip of this new white wine that we're trying. "It sucks for some more than others...no offence." I crack a smile and shrug. I'm the first friend to get a divorce...never thought I'd even think about that statement but here we are.

"Have you told Chris that you know..." Soph's voice curiously trails off as I shake my head. I've been avoiding his texts and him in general. I'm even refusing to go to the studio. It's something I've never deliberately done before and...he must know something is up. Between us all Woody is the smartest guy here.

I'm just as fucked off with him as I am with Lila. He has lied to my face for servers fucking years. He's insulted me. He's made fun of me. He says in public interviews that we aren't even friends in real life...I guess that's true now. That man is not my friend.

Soph sympathetically smiles. "Dan you know that's not good...you need to fucking confront him. He had an affair with your wife behind your back. That's not on. And you fucking know it isn't...what's stopping you?" What's stopping me is Woody's amazing wife, Chrissy. She's the only thing that's stopping me. Chrissy deserves to know about her husband, but she has too kids and she doesn't need that stress...but then again she needs someone to tell her.

Maybe I don't have to confront Woody myself.

Maybe she can confront Woody like I confronted Lila? Then she can do whatever she feels is right? "I'm telling Chrissy...everything." Soph nods her head. "You're going to have to be careful. They've been together longer than you and Lila have." I shrug my shoulders back. It's not that I don't care — because I do. It's just that...none of that stuff matters anymore.

All that matters now is that I tell Chrissy in a delicate way that she should fucking divorce him.

I know she might not because of their son's but...I'm hoping she will. "I've said it once and I've said it before...but Dan you're a good guy. Like...a really good loyal guy." I shake my head. I don't feel like a good guy. In all honesty ever since that trip I just feel close to a burden with certain things.

I don't feel like me anymore.

"Don't shake your head, because I can nod mine ten times faster. You fucking know that." Soph says while nodding her head. It makes me smile to see at least she cares about me, my best friend. She always has been attached to my side, ever since university. She's a dream friend. "You need more motivation. Dan you have the best voice in the entire world, you have a heart of literal fucking gold...and you do happen to care about the people surrounding you more than yourself. You're like a fucking star. You know that? Shiny and amazing...spontaneous." I shake my head not really feeling like a 'star' or anything at this precise moment.

"Stars die. The song they sing sounds like screaming..." with that Sophie says 'wow' under her breath looking weirded out. I shrug my shoulders back. I'm literally crying out for help. But she takes another sip of her wine and pretends that I've never said anything alarming.