Having no understanding of my actions as well, it really sucks. My best friend, who must've been watching me, must be laughing right now, and probably looking over in disgusts of what she might've seen or what I am currently doing. But then again, Seokjin would always reassure me that she wouldn't see everything as He is not too cruel to do that. Seokjin even said that everything is under control, and He is planning to give me freedom with everything I'm doing before sealing the deal together.
I opened my phone, glancing at the clock to see AUGUST 22, 2018 (7:05 AM), and it's been 2 days since I started avoiding Hoseok. Those were also the days I haven't slept, watching as how Hoseok texted me several times, mostly apologising for what he did. What would he apologise for? It's me who was partly wrong.
Why am I even like this? I never wanted to blame Hoseok...Is it because he seemed to be showing signs of not wanting to talk to me anymore? Or is it because I was afraid of ending everything? Is this the consequences I should be looking for? I thought that everything's under control but why do I feel like something is wrong?
Clicking the app that I've been going to, probably a million times already, a bunch of tears streamed down again. I bit my lips, gritted my teeth as I sobbed while my eyes never left my phone with the screen showing his last post.
GREEN_26 I'm tired of living. Tired of existing.
"Why? Why did you get tired?" I sobbed, hands fisting my chest as I continue to cry, not noticing my phone dropped on the floor. "All I just wanted was you being here even though I could only watch you from a far away."
Those questions started to go rampants in my minds as his post replayed over and over again as my body started to get weak already. Even if I needed to have some rest, I can't seem to do it. I want to talk to him even if it drains most of my energy.
I tried to grab back my phone with my whole body trembling, and breathing getting ragid as my energy continues to deplate to lowest of possible. I took a glimpse of my hands, noticing how dark they seem making me chuckle. How funny that I have to go through all of this for the sake of my greediness.
"H-Hoseok." I whimpered, reaching out for my phone before my whole body dropped from the bed onto the floor. I opened the message, clicking Hoseok's contact before texting.
Me: I miss you, Jung Hoseok. message failed to send.
"Alphian!" Seokjin's voice echoed as his footsteps gets nearer.
I couldn't see clearly anymore as my eyes were getting heavier and heavier each passing time. I could feel his arms snaked around my body, probably looking at me in worry, and at the same time, he might be thinking of how dumb I could be to reach to this point.
"How long have you been awake to the point of losing all of your energy?!"
I really don't know myself, Kim Seokjin. Love really drains someone out.
author's notes: i haven't been updating because I have work and no time to update. I want to finish this during my sick leave and go on with the other books as well! Hope you will like it! <3
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