bts angst,, book two ✍︎

knj,, don't let go

You held hands with your boyfriend, Namjoon, while the both of you walked around the fair holding hands.

He stared at you with a smile that made you almost melt. You loved these types of days. A day where you spend your time with the one you loved one..But there's a question you've always want an answer to.

"Do you think he loves you back?"

Every time you go on dates, questions would always pop up in your mind.

Are his smiles fake? The kisses he gave you, was it forced? His promises, does he really mean it? When he says he won't leave you, is he lying?

There's so much questions you want him to answer but you've always chose to ignored it at the end of the day. You wanted to have positive happy memories and you didn't want to ruin your dates, but if you kept ignoring it, more questions would be added.

So, you decided to ask him today.

The both of you sat down the bench still holding hands. He carried the stuffed toys he bought and won for you, while you carried the food.

"Namjoon..Can I ask you a question?" You muttered quietly but loud enough for him to hear.

He hummed as a sign of approval.

You sighed looking down at your intertwined hands. "Do you love me?"

Namjoon suddenly looked up at you with a slight shocked red face. "Of course Y/n.."

"Can you say it to me? I've been kind of feeling down these days. Work is getting me stressed. I'm sure an "i love you" from you would make everything better.." You leaned to his chest.

"Y/n..." he whispered looking down. It looked like he felt guilty.

It was silent for a minute before you finally realized..He doesn't love you. You weren't sure what you were feeling but you felt horrible. Your heart is aching and crying.

"Namjoon, what's wrong with me? Did I do something to make you lose your feelings for me?" You moved away from him.

"No, no y/n.. I DID love you.. I don't know what happened.. I guess, I fell out of love. I'm sorry Y/n—but that's why i'm here! I'm spending this beautiful night with you to maybe fall in love..All over again. I don't know y/n. I'm so sorry.." Namjoon bit his lip releasing your hands and stood up.

Your face turns pale looking up at him. Tears fell down your perfectly shaped face.

"N-namjoon, no.. " you stood up and took his hands.

"But now I realized...I'm not the one for you. Y/n let's break up. I can't anymore.. I might just lead you on if we stay together. I don't want that, you're a beautiful person, a kind, loving, loyal person. I don't deserve you.." Namjoon looked down with a straight face.

"No. Namjoon we can work this out! I love you so fucking much! D-don't leave me.." your voice quivered. You held his hands tightly to the point that he started getting uncomfortable.

"Don't l-let go! Please..Don't leave me Namjoon. I love you. I'll make everything right..I'll make you love me again." You looked straight at his eyes with pain. You were sobbing so hard that it was getting to Namjoon. He doesn't like it when girls cry. Specially when it's because of him.

"Y-y/n. I don't like this too. I like you. So much. But love..? i-i don't know. I can't lead you on any longer. We'll get hurt.." Namjoon pulled you to his embrace.

"Don't let go.." you repeated hugging him back.

"I'm sorry." He pulled you away kissing your head.

"Take care y/n. You'll find someone else that will love you forever. Someone better than me.." Namjoon smiled painfully.

"NO! I DON'T WANT TO BREAK UP! I LOVE YOU! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!" You screamed earning a few looks from people.

Namjoon ignored it and started walking backwards. You lunged taking his hands softly.

"Don't let go." You quivered one last time. He gave you a sorry look and turned away letting you hands drop to your side.

You watched him walk away dropping the ring you gave him for your 1st anniversary.

He
      Let
              Go.

__
awkwardkookie 💘

It's been awhile! Sorry for the lack of updates. School is stressful!!!! I don't know if i can survive.

(+volleyball)

Thanks for reading makaronis:)💝