bts angst,, book two ✍︎

jhs ,, it hurts

[ low caps intended ]

[ sorry for the slow updates ]

december 18

i tucked my hand in my pocket, walking down the cold streets of seoul. i went out to meet up with a friend for once. is it really going out if you're going to their house? i shrugged that thought as i arrive.

i knocked gently. i was greeted by a familiar face. the one that loomed around since childhood. the beautiful face i saw everyday but never had the courage to tell her. it hurts to see her.

she smiled at me. i see the broken pieces of the past. i see the sadness in her eyes. the pain she went through. although she always kept it to herself, i see it. every inch of her pain. every inch of her past.

"come in," she moved to welcome me in. her house was quiet. it was simple yet unique but it felt eerie. i've been in this house so many times but it felt new each time i step in. missing furniture, new decorations, broken glasses, new placings for the couch. it seemed to change everytime.

"take a seat. what do you want to drink?" she led me into her living room and i sat without a hesitation. this house is my second home. i have my own bedroom in here. since she lived alone, many friends were welcome here.

"water is fine," i made myself comfortable as i watched her walk to the kitchen. i opened the tv and stared at it for a while. something feels stale.

she came back holding two glasses of water. she placed mine in front of me, my eyes still glued to the screen.

"what do you want to do today?" i snapped out of thought and looked at her. she had a smile glued to her face. her face was somehow sympathetic as if saying that everything will be fine. her eyes said that she'll always be there.

"what do you want to do? i'm up for anything," i grabbed the water from the table and chugged down the glass.

"we can walk around if you want. maybe go to a coffee shop after," she suggested as i agreed. we both got ready to go out. after she finished getting ready, she handed me the house key. it was normal but somehow, today it felt odd. i locked the door behind us and headed out.

we walked around the streets, making sure we were close to each other. our arms were rubbing together as a way to comfort ourselves over the flood of people.

we continue to roam around. getting in an occasional store to buy a couple of things. she would bury her face into her scarf as we stepped outside a store we were in. she would occasionally look over as if to make i was still there.

i don't ever intend to leave her. i hope that thought was mutual.

after our legs got tired and giving up on us. we sat by the window of a small cafe, looking over the people walking by. couples holding hands, friends laughing about, and people simply with their families.

i stood up to buy our drinks. i knew what she wanted. she would get the same drink everytime we went out. and she would fall in love with it everytime.

i placed her drink in front of her and i sat with mine. she continued to stare out the window.

"hoseok?" she spoke, not taking her eye out the window.

"hmm?" i looked up at her and hummed as a response.

"what would you do if i'm gone?" she asked all of a sudden. it took me off guard.

"why are you asking that? i would be sad. it would hurt me a lot. why the sudden question?" i answered back. my heart seems to ache at the question.

"nothing," she smiled at me with sadness in her eyes. she felt sorry.

"i'm sorry for hurting you then," she murmured so quietly.

we decided to head home after talking for a while. the same way we got here, we walked so close to each other, careful not to get each other out of sight.

the clock stroke midnight as she stepped in her house.

"goodnight, hoseok. see you soon," she smiled as she gently closed the door.

i walked outside her house. something felt warm inside but something felt incomplete.

i was a couple of streets away, walking with a crowd of people once again. i was alone this time. i placed my hand in my pocket as i felt something inside.

it was her house key.

[ lmao what an ending ]

[ i'm going to let you guys figure out the ending for this one ]

[ goodluck~ ]