To Be His (Completed)

10

His hair is combed back and parted to the side. His white undershirt can barely be seen through his light grey vest. He's wearing a light charcoal suit with a cerulean blue tie and it makes me feel underdressed. His mahogany coloured designer shoes complement his outfit quite well, that it's hard not to notice how dashing he looks.  This is excluding any sexual encounters of course.

In comparison to Thomas, Thomas looks like one of those stereotypical nerds who came out of a film. And I, I look like I skipped laundry day. I'm wearing a black pencil skirt that covers my ankles and a white long sleeve shirt. My hair's up in a bun, yet strands keep falling on my face. But my attention is regained when I hear Liam scold Thomas. 

"We pay you to do your job by making my brother's life easier. We don't pay you to flirt with your co-workers," he threateningly tells him, while looking him in the eye. I watch as Thomas throws a million pardons Liam's way and feel the brat inside me rise. Liam dismisses him and Thomas scurries back to his desk.

"Wanker," I mutter under my breath. "I'm sorry. What was that? Did I just hear profanity at work Ms Bane?" Liam mockingly asks, but before I even get the chance to reply, he speaks again. "I'd watch that tongue of yours unless you plan on being jobless by the end of the day," I grunt in frustration before turning around and filling the last sheets away.

I put them in their designated folder, but before I can even close the drawer, someone closes it for me. I turn to thank Liam but see him walking towards his brother's office. He knocks on the door twice before walking in without looking back at me. I watch as he closes the door and I'm left alone in the hall. What's up against his arsehole this morning?

As I make my way over to my desk, I recall how I spent my time after leaving his flat. Saddened by the memory, I take a seat at my desk and try to keep myself busy. I try to think of anything but of how I spent the rest of my break. I even try to play a quick game of chess on my laptop, but alas, my thoughts wander elsewhere. They keep wandering to my exit at his flat, and I decide to give in.

I recall closing his door and walking out onto the pavement. I tell myself not to look back, but turn around and give the flat one last look. "Farewell," I say with tears gliding down my eyes and walk to the nearest bus stop. I tremble and shake as the cool November air reminds me winter is coming. "Brrr," I say to myself as I wrap my arms around my waist to keep warm.

Thankfully, the bus comes within a few minutes and I revel in the heat it provides as I take a seat. "Where to Miss?" The elderly driver asks and I numbly reply. "Acton please." He starts the bus and I stare out the glass as we ride to the next stop. People come and go, but I remain in my seat until I reach my road.

I look around me to find something to pay the elderly driver but remember I have nothing. I get up with sorrow written across my face and tell the driver a snipbit of my situation. "It'll be alright Miss. Give him some time to cool off before you go back to him. Now go on and get your man." He responds as he waves me off of the bus. I thank him for the lift and walk down the street towards my flat.

I hear the bus leave the bus stop and drive off towards its next destination. I count the semi-detached houses as I make my way towards mine. Stopping at the fifth house, I knock on the door and Thomas opens the door. Relief floods his features but is rapidly replaced with worry when he sees my face. "Where the hell have you been Vanessa? We thought about calling the police."

I break down into tears as all the emotions I've fought so hard to hold back, crashes on me like a wave. At the sight of my despair, Thomas wraps his arms around me and beckons me in. "Oh Van. What happened? Who made you cry?" At his words, more sobs leave my mouth and we make our way towards the sofa. We take a seat and he let's go of me. "I- he- Ahh!" I cry as I struggle to get any words out. "Shhh, Van! It'll be alright mate. We'll get the bastard who did this."

I cry a bit more before calming down enough to explain what happened these past few days. "I- I lost my virginity Thomas," I begin to say and his jaw drops. "It hurt the first time, but after a few rounds I actually enjoyed myself." His eyes bulge out of his head and his mouth opens wider. Stunned by shock, he waits for me to continue. "The only problem is, I lost it to someone I shouldn't have. I thought I was saving it for someone special, and I did, but it turns out, I fancy this man more than I'd like to admit."

"He was experienced but demanding. Controlling, yet arousing. But most importantly, he cared about how I felt during our shags. Even though his words proved otherwise, he showed me through his actions how much he cared." Thomas's hand on my mouth shut me up as he asked me the most difficult question he could've asked. "What's the mate's name?" he asked in a serious tone.

"It doesn't matter. I won't be seeing him again anyway." I reply with shame and Thomas shakes his head at me. "What was his name?" he asked me once again in a stricter manner. "His name is Warren. Okay? Happy?!" I snap. Instantly regretting shouting at my best friend/ flatmate, I take it back. "I understand you're upset, but that doesn't mean you get to take it out on me honey. I'm not the one who shagged you."

I nod my head at him and look down in shame. "I just want to kick him and slap him and uhh! The fucking wanker didn't even care! He just fucking shagged me, void of any emotion, but that's bullshit. I know he felt something because I felt it too," I say and I feel my voice get louder and louder with frustration. Thomas grabs me by the arms and says, "Hey! Vanessa! Guess what?" I look at him bewildered and beckon him to continue. 

"He may actually have just been turned on by you, but that's all. Yet, since he kept shagging you after shagging another, I doubt he didn't feel something. No man would ever dismiss a woman from his bed during a meaningless shag unless he started catching feelings for her." I cease my crying for a moment and process the words he just told me. "I- I just want to forget Thomas. Help me forget." I say as the numbness in me takes over. 

He grabs my shoulders again and forces me to look him in the eye. "You won't forget him. You'll remember him, but think nothing of him. He fulfilled his purpose and now he's gone. That's how you move on in reality Van." I nod my head at Thomas and lean in for a hug which he returns. "Now, " he says while releasing me, "it's time for ice cream." I beam up at him with joy and wipe off any traces of tears as he grabs our ice cream.

At the sound of an email alert coming from my computer, I'm drawn back to reality. My grief of losing my virginity to Liam is none existent. Yet, the pain of being disregarded the moment he found out what I was, lingered. I find it odd, how its the rejection for being keeping my virtue that keeps nagging my heart. I'm surprised that my body didn't fight me on him as it has with other males before him. Even for simple pecks.

I shake my head in disgust as I'm reminded of past relations, and click on the notification. I notice it's from Liam. My mood instantly picks up and I read his email. It's nothing more than the daily email regarding his new PA. As the CFO of the company, he reminds me through this very stern email, how it is of the utmost importance that I find him a worthy and competent PA. ASAP!

I reply to him with some attitude, and say, "Alright mate. I've found three possible candidates." I puff out a breath and send the email. Within seconds, he replies. None of them is qualified for this position. Do your job before I have to start doing it for you. I read his response over and over again, as I feel the resentment grow within me. I send him the rest of the applicants and let him do it. Remind me why you still work for us, because I think you shouldn't be working here with your incapability to find me a PA.

Infuriated by his words, I get up from my desk, and make my way to the lift. I press the lit's button and disregard my duties. "Oh, we'll see who the incompetent one is Liam. We'll see real fucking soon." I tell myself and enter the lift as its door slide open.