To Be His (Completed)

21

^^^Mood Music Above^^^

"We're almost there Vanessa," Kyle informs me as we pull into a neighbourhood. I nod at him and continue staring up at the gloomy day sky behind the houses and ignore my stomach's growls. It doesn't take much before Kyle parks and gets out. I grab my belongings and get out as well. "Bloody hell it's cold," I say to myself and put on my coat.

"Let's head inside," Kyle says and beckons me to follow. We head inside this quaint little semi-detached house and he turns on the lights. "I'll be right back," Kyle says and turns the corner. It's not long before he comes back and tells me to follow him. "This'll be your room for the time being." I nod my head and walk inside. It's a small room with minimal decorum. I plot down on the bed and take a breath.

I can't get the man's body out of my mind. I let go of the dough balls and lay down on my bed. I stare at the wardrobe and close my eyes. I can't hold them back any longer and let the tears out. They come slowly and warm as they make contact with my cold face. Silent sobs leave my throat, and I can't help curl up in bed. "A man died in my flat and I did nothing about it," I tell myself. "Stupid, useless you."

I cry and blame myself even after the tears have dried. I cry past the inaudible sobs and turn numb. Nothing seems to have much meaning anymore and my head remains stagnant amidst the chaos that runs amock. With cracked, dry lips and a sticky face, I look out the window. There's a knock on my door and I instantly tense up. "It's me, Vanessa," Kyle says and I slightly calm down, but I can't help the shivering my body makes. The door opens.

I feel something placed on the bed, but I remain still. "Here are some clothes. The bathroom's in my room and I think you should use it," he says again. Nothing comes from out of me and I hear him sigh. I stare almost as lifeless as the man out the window. "I'm not going to stand by and watch you deteriorate yourself," Kyle states and I hear the bed creak as a new dip is formed.

"Alright. Let's get you up," Kyle says as he straddles me. At the feel of him pulling me upwards, I shake him off. "Come on Vanessa," he orders and pulls me up again. I fight him even when he captures my hands in his. I kick and shake from underneath him as I do everything possible to stay in bed. "That's enough," Kyle growls and straddles my pelvis. He pins my arms above me and gets close to my face. "I'm just trying to protect you," he quietly tells me and I stare into his eyes.

His gaze flickers downwards for a moment before meeting mine again. "Just take a shower," Kyle says before getting off me and walking out of the room. I gulp and slowly get up. I notice the clothes he brought me are scattered on the floor and I pick them up. I walk my numb-ass out of my room and notice a wall before me. I look to my left and see the front door. To my right, a kitchen and a sitting room.

I turn towards the door and think about running away. With each step, my boldness grows. I touch the knob and begin to turn it, but suddenly, logic strikes. What would I do for money? Where would I go? Would more men come after me? Afraid, I lock the door and back away. I back all the way into the kitchen where Kyle is cooking something. "I'll show you to the bathroom in a sec," he says as he messes around cooking.

I stand and watch. I almost want to ask if we had a moment earlier, but decided against it. It's only a few more seconds of me standing, that Kyle shows me the way to his bathroom. The only bathroom in the small house. I follow silently and glance around his bedroom for a second. It's just as bland as mine. "Here you are," Kyle says opening the door for me. I thank him with a nod and enter.

I turn on the warm water and strip. I look at myself in the small circular mirror and am repelled by my physical state. I hop into the shower when I see steam forming in the bathroom. I let the warm water cover my frigid body. It covers me in its warmth and I stand under it for a minute. I notice a bar of soap and some hair wash. I start with my hair and finish with my body.