The single dad || phan

30

Phil's POV

We arrived at the church and I just wanted to stay in the comfort of the car where things didn't seem so final. Dan must have noticed this as he held my hand and smiled at me. I wasn't ready to let go, I didn't want to, but I had to...for my mental health and for PJ. He would want me to move on.

I stepped out of the car and Dan followed me, with Lucy in his arms. I saw the casket for the first time at this moment, I couldn't look before. It was being lifted out of the car by a bunch of men, hey at least his last time being held is by a bunch of men, he would like that. Someone else held the words made out of flowers; the words 'son' and 'friend'.

I didn't really know what to do but Dan did so I asked him. "Where do we go now?" I asked whispering to Dan.

"inside the church" he replied and he put his hand in my shoulder. It was comforting and I feel if he didn't do it I would pass out again. Once he removed his hand, we walked forward;I held his hand, intertwining our fingers.

We walked up the the church door and I just stopped and took a deep breath an took a step inside. There were rows of chairs on both sides of the room with a space between them. At the front of the room there was a speakers stand and a stand for where the coffin would go.

We walked to the first row and sat down. As we sat down Lucy motioned that she wanted me.

"Pass her over" I whispered to Dan.

"You sure?" Dan replied and I nodded. Dan passed her to me and I held her for a while.

It was quite funny that we were in a church. PJ had once said and I quote 'yeah we can go to church over my dead body' which was quite ironic because here we are in a church, granted PJ wasn't here yet, his coffin was still outside while people came in and sat down.

There were a lot of people here. Some of our old friends, the guys who were at the games party, his family, some of the people he hooked up with in the past which I was confused how they found out but I'm going to question it.

Someone started to play the organ and we all stood up, Lucy still in my arms. The men carried PJ's coffin into the church and down the aisle. They placed it on the stand at the front of the room. The priest walked up to the speakers stand.

"You may all sit" he started and we all sat down. "Today we are here to celebrate PJ Liguori's life and also say goodbye to put his soul at rest. During this time it is easy to lose your way but GOD will be there for you and guide you through this. PJ was a kind person and God will accept him with open arms into heaven. We will start with a reading from John 14:1-3. 'Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father's house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.'

Your son, your friend, your lover, your cousin will be waiting for you in Gods house for the day when God sees you are one day ready to join him and PJ in his house for the rest of eternity.

We will now be joined together by god through hymns, which will be found in your order of service."

Everyone stood and the organ began to play again. Everyone mumbled the words to the hymn as no one knew the timing. It was quite clear that no one here goes to church.

The organ finished playing and we all sat down again.

"I would now like to invite any speakers to the stand."

This was it... this was terrifying... but at least I wasn't passed out yet.

I stood up after passing Lucy to Dan and walked to the stand.

"Hi, I'm Phil. PJ was my best friend and roommate. He was always joking about as you probably all know.

The day I met him was a very unique day. I had been homeless for five years and PJ found me and invited me to his house even though he hardly knew me. That was ten years ago and I have lived with him ever since. We gained a friendship that was unbreakable and a connection that felt like it was meant to be.

The day before he died we had a party. We let go of our adulthood worries and acted like children, playing games. PJ first showed me a game on the first day we met and he was so confused because I didn't know how to play them. He was like my human diary. He knew everything about me and my life and was always there for me. In fact he was always there for everyone.

PJ if you can hear me just know I've kept your promise but I also miss you a lot.

Thank you."

Then I walked to me seat and sat down. I leant against Dan for comfort.

"You did well Phil" Dan said while stroking my head.