The single dad || phan

57

Dan's POV

Work meetings were so annoying. Basically telling us they have found a new way to tackle the flu or something like that. But this one I couldn't be happier with. Though it also terrified me.

I was technically the only one trained to do the new treatment that has been pending in terms of ethical reasons to if we can use it.

for a few months now, I have been working with stem cells. It's complicated but because they have the power to be specialised as different types of cells. Such as brain cells. Which could fix Phil up to how he was before he got beaten by his dad that time he got a head injury. I had never known him without this aspect of him. It's pretty much why we happened really.

I was also the only one in my hospital qualified to do it. So should Phil choose to have this done, I would have to do the operation on him. That totally wasn't terrifying at all. I could be the fucking reason of my own husbands death because I was his surgeon.

Even though I was terrified I needed to tell him. all of it. so I did. He wants to do it. He wants me to do it to him should I say.

Then he got a letter in the mail basically bringing him in to talk about new treatments which meant I would be doing this relatively soon.

Fuck.

Also Lucy would find out the gender of her baby soon. that was adorable. Lucy had slowly been staying at Jake's more and more. She practically lived there at this point.

Everything is changing so quickly and I can't handle it. My mind keeps on racing with ifs and buts and just the feeling of being locked in a cage and everything continuing around you, oblivious to the suffering. I've been on meds since I was about 23 I think. Last time it was this bad was before I found out about Lucy. I had hit an all time low. I almost have up. Then I didn't because of Lucy needing me. But she didn't need me anymore. Now Phil did but soon enough he wouldn't. No one needed me anymore. Other than the few patients I cared for. But there were a lot of doctors. Maybe not as good as I was but still they existed.

"Dad?" It was Lucy.

" hey luce what's up? "

"You were crying" she responded. "What's wrong?"

" nothing, I'm fine I promise"

"Dad, you can't break a promise. It's quite clear you aren't okay"

" you're right"

"Wanna talk about it?" she smiled.

" Okay... "

I explained everything to her. Told her about the meds I had never told her nor Phil about. I don't know why I never told Phil. I guess I was scared...