The single dad || phan

58

Lucy's POV

I can't believe my dad has never told me or pa about his mental health. sure pa has a lot going on but he would want to know right?

"Dad, you need to tell pa"

"Tell him what?"

" what you told me the other day about your mental health. He needs to know, he's your husband for God's sake"

"What if it changes the way he is with me?"

" dad pull yourself together, it will be fine I promise you, he loves you okay and he needs you as much as you need him... "

"He won't need me very much soon though"

"What do you mean?"

" oh I wasn't meant to say that"

Excuse me. They are both hiding something from me. It's annoying.

"Spill ya guts"

" Basically I have to do brain surgery on your pa which will make him brand new again... Yay... I can't do this oh god"

"Wait what? And why can't you do it"

"There is quite a high probability of it going extremely wrong and it could result in... You know..."

I gulped.

"Death?" He nodded.

"How high?"

"55%"

" and you are still doing it? What the hell dad? " I shouted.

"It's not my decision luce... He wants it done. I didn't want to but he wants to and it's my job, and I'm the only one qualified."

" what the hell... where's pa? "

"In our room...but luce, don't go and at him, please..."

I stormed out and walked upstairs which was getting progressively harder to do. I walked into my parents room.

"What the hell luce?" Pa said grabbing hold of the covers and pulling them over him.

" what the hell decisions are you making? "

"What are you on about?"

" the surgery. I know. "

"Luce...listen..."

" no pa, listen to me. I need you... Jake needs you, dad needs you, everyone needs you... What if it goes wrong? What if you don't come back! How the hell do you expect me to deal with whatever happens with dad if that happens, he's already a mess now... "

"What do you mean a mess? What's wrong with him?"

" oh for God sake... Dad get your butt up here now"

I heard him run up the stairs. He came in the room we were in.

"What?"

" tell pa... Now"

"Well, basically, a few years before we met I got prescribed antidepressants and I've never been off then since, other than that week where I was really ill, remember?"

" Yeah"

"Well anyway I'm struggling a bit at the moment"

" oh okay"

"That's it, you happy now?"

" a bit, but still pa why didn't you let us all decide together? "

"Its my choice to make luce, I've not had the chance of a normal life because of this, I want to take the chance to try to have a normal life for once , don't you understand that?"

" Yeah, I guess, it just is stressing me out is all and the hormones are making me sort of crazy... You forgive me? "

"What is there to forgive luce" he smiled at me.

"You know I love you both so much right? You are both the best parents a person could ask for"

"We love you too Luce, you're the best child anyone could ever ask for" said my loving dad. He sounds just like my old favourite tv character, Winnie the pooh. Though he was more of a cross between slenderman and Winnie the pooh. Pa though was like a weird unicorn rainbow lion thing. Idk. He was just pretty weird.

I wonder what my baby will be like, obviously pa's dna won't be in the mix of things but he is certainly gonna be helping raise it. I mean look at me.

Though genetically my baby has a really bad batch of genetics. You know because my side of the family's mental health is amazing and so is his. Also, the doctors have been saying that I'm really likely to get postnatal depression because of my mum and all that... So that's fun...

"Guys, I'm really scared..." I said as I sat down on the bed.

" Why" pa inquired.

"My doctors have been saying that I'm at high risk of postnatal depression, like my biological mum... And I'm scared of I do something to the baby or myself, or anyone else... Including you guys"

"Well whatever happens we will be here, okay... I promise" dad responds.

"And also, my scan is tomorrow, are you guys coming with me?"

" I can do" dad replies.

"I'm pretty sure I can reschedule some things" pa smiled.

"Thanks guys"

*authors note: it's my birthday in 3 hours and 25 minutes!!!! Whoop whoop!! Also I love all you guys for reading this 💜*
Fuckin hell you're soft