The single dad || phan

85

Dan's POV

There was a knock at the door and I immediately knew who it was— Chris. I can't believe we actually invited him over but Phil hit me with all of his therapist jumbo saying that we should try and help him as much as we could because he never had a fair chance after PJ's death to grieve. He had no one to guide him through it like I did for Phil. I had to respect Phil's wishes because this was all because of the things he went through and I can't hold a grudge for him. If Phil wanted to forgive him I couldn't stop that or get in the way, I had to let it happen but it doesn't mean I'm not still cautious of the man I was about to let into my house. I was still terrified of him but not because of myself but for Phil. I couldn't let him be hurt again, he'd already suffered so much.

And here I was letting him into my house.

"Hello Chris, come in" I said plastering a fake smile onto my face. He stepped through.

"I know you hate me and you don't want me here, and I get why, so you really don't have to pretend to like me" he smiled while taking off his brown jacket.

"I don't hate you, I'm just quite afraid of you. But, I got to respect my husbands wishes so I'm letting you into my house" I said taking the jacket from Chris and hanging it up.

"Don't worry, I'm past all of my revenge now. Thanks for hanging up my jacket by the way. Where's Phil?" He said, proceeding to look around for him.

"He just went to the shop with our son to get some marshmallows, he'll be back soon. Here, sit down while we wait"

He obliged and sat down in the sofa in the living room. "Why marshmallows?" He said after a moment of silence.

"Evan wanted hot chocolate and Phil is a bit extra and said you have to have marshmallows and whipped cream with hot chocolate but we had no marshmallows. Do you want a brew or do you want a hot chocolate when they get back?" I said sitting down next to him.

"I'll have the hot chocolate when they get back, if that's okay" he smiled sweetly. This man really did confuse me. How could he be such an evil person one minute then be so sweet and smile like that? I hate to admit it but maybe Phil is right, maybe we judged him too quickly without seeing things from his perspective.

"Before, you said you were done with the, the revenge thing... but Sarah, you have been with her a lot. And I know I don't have any say in things that concern her considering I've only just met her a few months ago but I don't want her to be hurt. And I want to trust you, you seem like a great person who has just done things that maybe you regret but I still don't fully trust you. And I don't know why I'm saying all of this but I just want to say I forgive you for the things that have happened in the past and I'm sorry if I've ever done anything to hurt you" I said looking down at my hands but when I looked up at Chris I saw something I never thought I'd see. He was crying. So I did what I would do if anyone was crying around me. I hugged him. His face was buried into my shoulder, my shirt was soaking up the flood of tears coming out of his eyes.

"I'm so sorry" he said and kept repeating.

"It's okay, Chris. It's okay. I'm here, okay? You will be okay"

"I miss him... why did he have to go? Why was it not me? He was such a good person... why wasn't it me?"  He said between sobs.

And I just held him for a while while he cried. His weight fully on me as he lost control of his body, becoming too weak to hold himself up. His body became reliant on mine. The hiccups of his tears made me realise that I've never lost anyone who meant that much to me. I had never felt that pain. But he had to face it over and over again, all on his own. It's been over twenty years but Chris seems to relive that day over and over, never able to forget the man he loved. The man who never loved him back. I had never felt that pain either. If it were me in his shoes I probably would have gone down a similar route.

I was still holding him but the cries had faded, now replaced with heavy breathing and whimpers. I heard the front door open and the sound of Evan laughing at something Phil has said or some presumably. I can't imagine not having a family. I couldn't imagine being on my own.

I still kept my hold on Chris. He didn't seem to notice the increase in sound or the footsteps coming towards the room we were in or the sudden stop of noise as Phil and Evan saw me supporting a broken Chris while sat down on the sofa.

"Chris... are you okay?" I whispered to Chris who had seemed to calm down a considerable amount.

Chris pulled away. "Yeah, I'm okay. Sorry" he said wiping his eyes.

"Don't be sorry" I smiled. "Oh and Phil and Evan came back, do you want that hot chocolate?" I said pointing over to Phil and Evan.

"That would be great, thank you Dan"

I just smiled. "I'll be back in a minute" I said and walked with Phil and Evan to the kitchen.

"You were right Phil. He is a good guy. He's just hurt. And you know what I say? I say the best way to heal someone is through the power of your amazing hot chocolate!"