The single dad || phan

87

Chris (normal universe in this story guy)

This whole situation still felt unreal to me, like some strange dystopian fantasy. But it wasn't. I was inside Dan's house after years of tormenting him and Phil, punishing them. I would even go to the extent of saying Dan was a friend. Then it came to Phil. No, I didn't hate the man or blame him but a part of me that was lost a long time ago does. Part of me hated him. I resented him. I can see why that was insane now but I'm still not fully over the feeling of my hatred towards Phil. But he was willing to forgive me for the things I have done so I guess I forgive him too- I really do forgive him. I do want us to be friends but who knows what time will mean for us all.

I had just finished my hot chocolate (which was topped with whipped cream, marshmallows and cocoa powder) and started walking from the kitchen to the living room when I heard PJ.

This was a first, even for me. The crazy one with all of the issues. Then I heard Phil's voice. He was laughing along to what Pj had said. It made me so jealous, still, even though Phil was happily married to a man he loved dearly I was jealous because PJ could never or would never love me the way he loves Phil. My version or this version. In the midsts of all of the bubbling thoughts I realised it was the PJ from the other universe place who was on call to Phil.

I walked past the family portrait on the wall to stand near the door frame of the living room watching Phil smile and laugh through the small gap. I made an effort to look closer at his smile which resulted in me stepping forward causing the floorboard to creak. Phil turned his head to look at the door which I was behind and he smiled, seeming to be aware of my presence and waved for me to come in.

I obliged and ventured into the white room with green features and sat on the sofa opposite to Phil. I enjoyed watching him from the door more than right in front of him because without me here Phil was so free and happy and even though with me here he was still those things I could still sense the fear he had of me and know uncomfortable he was, yet he still made me feel like part of his little family, making them my only friends in 27 years. Of course, there was also Sarah. Sarah was so sweet and kind and beautiful and full of life. Over the past few months we have been spending increasing amounts of time with each other. She stayed over at my place once too. She didn't want to go home because she wanted to get away from her life with her grandma and live a little for herself, in her words. She kissed me that night. That night was full of surprises and the happiest moments of my life. We haven't spoken about the kiss after it had happened because I guess we were both too scared to confront the other. After that night though we have been getting a lot closer. She enjoyed to play with PJ (the dog) too which I secretly believe is the only reason she visits me.

"Its been so amazing talking to you Peej, I hope we can speak again soon but I think you should speak to my friend Chris here" he said to the phone and smiled. He looked at me and motioned with his head to sit next to him, so I did.

I sat down and heard Phil say to the phone "this is Chris" and moved his phone to get me in the frame. I looked up at the phone to see a pair of beautiful green eyes staring back at me. Lost in the moment I mustn't have heard him say my name and ask f I was okay. All I could see or hear was his stunning eyes. All I could think about was the times we would spend together easing around and playing games and laughing with eachother, gazing longingly into his eyes, or the multiple nights we spent together, our breaths heavy and passionate kissing, at least on my part. I knew there must have been something there. I needed there to be.

I felt a nudge at my shoulder and I broke out of my trance, looking at Phil. He looked over to the phone I was holding and I followed his eyes to look at PJ who was smiling at me.

"Hey, are you okay?" He said.

" Yeah, it's just the memories, you know? There are a lot of memories. " I smiled weakly.

I felt Phil stand up. " I'll leave you two to talk for a bit " he said before leaving the room.

"so is there anything you would like to tell me?" Beamed PJ. And there was. There was so much I needed clarity for. So much I needed him to forgive me for so I could move on. I needed to tell him about Sarah. so I did.