The Journal

Chapter 6 : Truth

Chapter 6

Later...

Kelsey POV  

Riker and I decided to sleep in my room tonight. I decided to sleep on the floor too. It just seemed more fun that way.

We made beds on the floor out of blankets, and I gave him a pillow. I turned off all the lights except for one lamp, and we got in our floor beds.

And we had decided to play truth or dare. It had turned mostly into truth or truth though because we were getting tired and neither of us wanted to move or get out of bed.

"Your turn," Riker said.

"Ok... Worst moment of your life?"

I was hoping this would get the ball rolling with him opening up.

"Um... Well... There was this one time where I got a really bad math grade on my report card... I'm just not good at math. And my dad gave me this really stern talk about my work ethic and grades and college. And then he took away my phone until I could get my grade up. And um... I... Kelsey, you need to promise me you won't tell."

It's working!

"I promise, Riker."

"I... I have this really bad habit, and I gave into it..."

"What's your bad habit?"

Riker slowly pulled up one of his sleeves, revealing so many cuts on his wrist. Some of them looked like scars, but some of them looked fresh.

"Riker..."

"I know! It's a bad habit! But sometimes I just need to do it!"

"Why?"

"To feel better."

"Riker, bad grades shouldn't make you feel like you need to cut."

"It's not just the bad grades!"

"Then what is it?"

"It's the bullying! And my family! And sometimes it just feels like the whole world is against me!"

I realized he was starting to cry. His eyes were filling with tears, and they slowly started falling down his cheeks.

"Riker, don't cry. It's ok."

"I just don't want you to hate me because I cut, and because I suck at math!"

"I don't! It's ok! Please don't cry, Riker."

I scooched closer to him, and pulled him into a tight hug. He cried into my shoulder. I didn't know how to comfort him other than hugging him tight.

"Promise you don't hate me? I can't lose my only friend!"

"I promise, Riker! It's ok."

"I'm sorry for crying. I don't know why, but I just feel so emotional all the time."

"It's ok. Maybe I can help you feel better."

"Really?"

"Yeah. That's what best friends are for, right? Making each other feel better?"

"Yeah."

Riker pulled away from the hug and wiped his tears.

"Thanks... I just... I don't know what's wrong with me..." Riker mumbled.

"Don't feel bad. It's ok. If you ever want to talk about anything, you can talk to me. I'll try to help, ok?"

"Thanks."

"Do you talk to your family about how you feel?"

"No... If I told my mom that I was cutting, she would freak out. Same with my dad."

"What about your siblings?"

"I don't know... They're busy with their own lives. I don't think they would understand or know what to do. And they're all younger than me. I don't think any of them have experienced this kind of stuff yet."

"Yeah, I get it... Have you done it on both wrists?"

Riker nodded.

"I feel so guilty about it."

"Don't, Riker. Maybe just think of them as... battle scars."

"I always thought they showed how weak I was..."

"You're not weak. You've obviously been going through a lot, and that takes a lot of strength."

"Yeah, I guess..."

"Try not to feel bad about it, Riker. I'm going to help you."

I hugged him again.

"How, though?" He asked.

"I don't know yet... But at least you have a friend now. And I can deal with Wyatt, so you don't have to worry about him anymore. That has to help you feel better, right?"

"Yeah... I guess I'm just not used to all of this change... I've been bullied for forever. And I haven't really had any friends. I'm just so glad I have you now."

"I'm glad too."