The Journal

Chapter 28 : Supportive siblings

Chapter 28

Riker POV

My whole body was trembling and my chest was heaving. It was hurting my stomach to be so worked up. My crazy breathing felt like it was going to open up the cuts.

"Riker, calm down. It's going to be ok," Ross said, trying to calm me down.

Rydel walked in, looking super confused.

"What's going on?" She asked.

"He's just upset because Rocky is telling mom something."

"Oh..."

She sat down next to me and put her arm around me.

"It's ok, Riker."

Mom and Rocky walked in. I could tell he already told her by the expression on her face.

"Kids, out of the room. I need to talk to Riker privately," mom said.

I pulled my knees to my chest because I was super scared for this talk.

After everyone was gone, mom closed the door.

"Honey, calm down. I'm not mad, and you're not in trouble."

She sat down next to me and pulled me into her arms. I climbed onto her lap and clung onto her, still crying.

"Aw, honey. It's ok."

"What did Rocky say?" I whimpered.

"He told me that he thinks you have depression because you've been cutting, and you cut today."

I didn't know what to say. I'm just kind of frozen.

"Can we talk about this?" Mom asked.

"Ok..."

"When did you start cutting?"

"Like... A few months ago..."

"How long do you think you've had depression?"

"I don't know... A little longer than I've been cutting..."

"Why didn't you tell anyone you were feeling like that?"

"I don't know... I didn't realize it was depression at first. I just thought I was in a bad mood or too tired. And then cutting just started making me feel better again. But now it doesn't."

"Is Rocky the only one who knows?"

"No... Ross knows and so does my girlfriend, Kelsey."

"Who knew first?"

"Kelsey... She found my journal and found out what I was doing. But that was when I lost my journal, so she didn't know it was me. And then Rocky caught me in our room and saw my cuts. And then we told Ross. I made them all promise they wouldn't tell. Rocky said he wouldn't unless I cut again. And I cut the day we left for vacation and he said I got one more chance. But today I just felt so miserable, so I did it again, but it didn't help, so I just kept cutting and cutting, and it just hurt really bad! And I'm sorry I did it!"

"It's ok, honey. We're going to get you some help."

"How?"

"Well, I'm going to talk to your father about it and see what he thinks. We can try medication or therapy. Or we can see if there are any other options."

"Are we going to tell the rest of my siblings?"

"Yes. I think it would be good for them to know so they can help you if you're having a rough day."