The Journal

Chapter 23 : Watched

Chapter 23

Later...

Rocky POV

When I was done showering, I went back to my room, and Riker was gone. It instantly made me feel a bit worried. Where is he?

I went downstairs and found him asleep on the couch next to mom.

"Is he ok?" I asked.

"Yeah. He said he was just scared from the movie."

I'm glad mom believes that's the real reason because I promised Riker I'd keep his secret.

"Rocky?"

"What?"

"Please don't let him watch anything else scary. He thinks he can handle it, but he can't."

"Ok, mom. Can I wake him up and bring him up to bed?"

"Sure, honey."

I gently shook Riker's shoulder. He opened his eyes and looked up at me. He looked exhausted.

"Time for bed," I said.

"Carry me."

He reached his hands out, so I picked him up. He's being so needy.

I carried him upstairs and put him in my bed because I figured that's where he would want to be.

"How are you feeling now?"

"Sleepy."

"That's not what I meant."

"I don't feel depressed. Just sleepy. Come cuddle."

I sighed and shut the light off. I got into bed beside Riker, and he cuddled into my side. I'm worried about him though.

Later...

Riker POV

I woke up and I felt weird. I feel like I'm starting to feel numb to the world.

But I was also hungry. So I quietly crept downstairs to go find food.

I looked in the fridge and got some of the leftovers from dinner. I sat down at the table and started eating.

A little while later, Rocky came downstairs.

"Are you ok?" He whispered.

"Yeah."

"Why are you down here? You scared me half to death! I thought you did something to yourself!"

"I was just hungry."

Rocky sighed and sat down across from me.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked.

"No, Riker. You're just stressing me out a little."

"Why?"

"Because of your depression!"

"I'm not going to do anything, Rocky..." I mumbled.

"Well I don't believe you, so you're getting watched like a hawk."

I finished eating and put my dishes in the sink.

"How are you feeling?" Rocky asked.

"Tired."

"Riker, when I ask you how you're feeling, I mean in terms of your depression."

"I don't know. I just feel tired. I don't really feel anything else."

"Ok, then let's go back to bed. And if you wake up and decide to leave the room, tell me."

"Why?"

"So I don't worry that you're hurting yourself."

"Ok..."

I went back up to bed with Rocky. I got in his bed and curled into him. And I fell back asleep.

Later...

Riker POV

I feel like Rocky is practically babysitting me. It's slightly annoying, but on the other hand, I know it's for my own safety. I don't exactly trust myself either.

I'm feeling slightly happier today, but I think maybe that's because I know I'm going to see Kelsey at school tomorrow. We were texting earlier. She was concerned about me, but I told her how closely Rocky's been watching me, and that made her feel a little bit better.

I was currently in the living room with all my brothers. They were playing video games. I was watching.

I was sitting next to Rocky. And if I leave him, he follows me because he doesn't trust me.

I guess it's ok though. It's better than mom and dad knowing. I would practically be grounded and watched even closer.

"Rocky," I mumbled.

"What?"

"I'm hungry."

"Go get food and bring me some too."

"Ok."

I went to the kitchen and got chips. I sat down next to Rocky again and shared with him.

When I was done eating, I leaned my head on his shoulder. Cuddles just make me feel better in general.

"Kids! Dinner!" Mom called.

We all went to the kitchen. Rocky sat next to me. And dinner began.

Later...

Riker POV

Rocky has been letting me sleep in his bed with him ever since the movie, and I just like being near him, so he's letting me stay.

"Rik," Rocky said, getting into bed beside me.

"What?"

"Are you going to be ok at school tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I'll have Kelsey."

"Oh, right! Ok, good. So she'll watch you at school, and I'll watch you when you get home. Do you think you're going to go over her house after school?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Ok, well if you do, text me, ok?"

"Ok."

Rocky shut the light off.

"Night, bro."

"Night, Rocky."

I buried my face in his side and fell asleep.

Later...

Rocky POV

"Rocky."

My eyes snapped open. But it was pitch black in here.

"Rocky."

"What, Riker?"

"My cuts."

I realized he was crying.

"What?"

"They hurt!"

"Why? What happened?"

"I don't know! I just woke up and my arm was hurting really bad! But I was also having a nightmare, so I don't know if I moved in my sleep or something."

"Ok, come here."

I found his hand in the dark, and led him to the bathroom. Sure enough, a few of his cuts were bleeding. I cleaned up his wrist and took him back to bed. He wanted to cuddle into my side, so I just let him. I think it makes him feel better or safer or something.

"Are you ok now?" I asked.

"Yes..."

"Are you going to be able to fall back asleep?"

"Yes..."

He wrapped one of his arms around my stomach and held onto me.

"Ok, goodnight, Riker."

"Night..." He mumbled into my side.