The Journal

Chapter 35 : More improvement

Chapter 35

A few days later...   

Riker POV

"How has your week been so far?" Miss Katie asked.

I played with my hands a little. Therapy still makes me kind of nervous.

"It's been ok. My depression medication finally isn't giving me such bad side effects."

"How is school?"

"Good. My grades used to be ok, but now they're pretty good because my girlfriend helps me study and stuff."

"Your girlfriend is Kelsey, right?"

"Yeah."

"Have you been hanging out with her this week?"

"Yeah, every day after school, we walk to her house and study and do homework."

"Do you do anything besides schoolwork?"

"Not on weekdays. We just study. Sometimes we hang out on the weekends though."

"What do you do on weekends?"

"Sometimes we have sleepovers. We'll have movie nights with popcorn and stuff. And we'll stay up late watching it or we'll just talk and cuddle. That's usually it."

"How are things with your family?"

"Good."

"How are things with Rocky?"

"Good."

"Do you two still sleep in the same bed?"

"Yes. He lets me cuddle with him every night."

"Do you talk to anyone in your family about your depression?"

"I talk to my parents a lot because they ask. But I also talk to Rocky a lot because we're really close. Usually we talk a little before bed every night."

"Alright, well it sounds like you've had a good start to the week."

"Yup."

"Is the medication helping?"

"I think so. I feel a lot calmer. I didn't know I wasn't calm before. But now I just feel really relaxed and I feel like I have a lot more control over my emotions."

"Do you feel depressed?"

"A little, but it's like a ton better already."

"That's great! I'm glad the medication is helping. Have you cut?"

"Nope. I've been journaling a lot. But it's just because I'm bored. I'm not doing it as a coping technique. I brought my journal again if you want to see it," I said, handing it to her.

She opened it and started flipping through.

I had written a lot of good things. Mostly just how I'm feeling a lot better.

"This is great, Riker. It seems like you're having a lot of improvement."

I nodded, and took my journal back.

"Is there anything you want to work on until your next appointment?"

"I don't know. I'm just trying to take in how everything is changing and stuff. It's weird how much better I'm feeling already."

"Ok, that's fine. Just take some time to relax and regroup. I'll see you in a few days, Riker."

I left. Mom was waiting for me in the car.

"How was it?" Mom asked.

"Good."

"Do you like it?"

"Kind of... She said I'm doing good so far."

"Well you are. I can already see a big difference in you since you started taking the medication."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You seem much happier."

"Oh..."

We got home. I started helping mom set the table for dinner.

Later...

Riker POV

I was currently in the shower, lost in thought. I know I'm doing better, but sometimes I feel like I just have moments where I'm not actually better. But I think it's just my depression creeping back in for a moment.

I think I'll have less of these moments as time goes on. It's just kind of tough right now because it's tempting to give into the negative thoughts.

I finished my shower and got changed into my pjs. When I went to my bedroom, Rocky was already in bed.

"What's wrong?" Rocky asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You look upset."

"I don't know... Just a tough night. I need to stop thinking so much."

I grabbed my journal and got into bed beside Rocky.

"Do you think mom will be mad if I stay up a little later than usual so I can write?"

"No, I think she'd be fine with it."

"Ok, good."

I curled up beside Rocky and started writing in my journal about tonight. It was just a long night, that's all.

When I was finished, I shut my journal and laid down.

"Ready for bed now?" Rocky asked.

"Yeah."

He shut off the light and laid down next to me.

"You sure you're ok?" Rocky asked.

"Yup. Goodnight, Rocky."

"Goodnight, bro."

He pulled the covers up over us more. And we both went to sleep.