The Journal

Chapter 17 : Giving the journal back

Chapter 17

Later...

Kelsey POV

I was starting to feel a bit better. Riker and Lucas have been taking good care of me. I think Riker and I still feel slightly sick, but a lot better than before.

Riker and I were back up in my bedroom now. Riker was sitting by my window. It was snowing again, and he was watching it.

"Riker, you're acting like you've never seen snow before."

"It's just pretty. I like watching it," he said, smiling.

I went over and sat down beside him.

"You're prettier though," Riker said, reaching for my hand.

I let him take my hand. He pulled me closer to him.

"What do you want to do tonight?" I asked.

"Depends. How are you feeling?"

"A lot better than before."

"Good! Maybe we could just talk some more and watch the snow? And then snuggles?"

"Sounds good."

I turned so I was facing Riker.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"My feelings... Is that bad?"

"No! It's good! I think it'll make you feel better."

"Ok, because I have a lot of things bouncing around in my mind right now."

"What's one of them?"

"Well... First, I'm really happy because I'm here with you. And even though we got sick, it was still better being here than home."

I nodded.

"And I feel upset because I know I'm going to feel bad again once I go home."

"We still need to figure out why you feel depressed at home, but I think one of the big reasons is your siblings. You said they pick on you a lot."

"They do... But how can you fix that?"

"Well... You could talk to them. Tell them how you feel."

"No. They don't like talking about feelings and stuff. Maybe my sister, but definitely not my brothers."

"I thought you talked to the one you roomed with, and it went well."

"I just told him I was lonely, that's all. We didn't really talk about anything."

"Could you talk to your parents?"

"Wouldn't that lead to me talking about my cuts?"

"Not necessarily. Just tell them you've been feeling upset lately."

"My mom would start watching me like a hawk. I can't do that."

"Well... What about your sister?"

"Maybe... I could try..."

"Ok, so try talking to her about it, and then see how you feel. We'll go from there."

"Ok..."

The whole time we've been talking, Riker's been looking out the window. He's honestly the cutest thing ever, just sitting by the window, watching the snow.

"Ready for bed?" I asked.

"Mhmm..."

Our floor bed of blankets was still here, so I got under the blankets. I put on a movie on my laptop, and Riker joined me a minute later.

"Time for snuggles," Riker said, wrapping his arms around me tight.

"Night, Riker."

"Night."

Monday...

Kelsey POV

Riker and I had a good weekend. We mostly just sat around and watched movies and stuff. But it was fun.

But I keep thinking about one thing. 

His journal.

I think I need to tell him I have it. I mean, he's already told me everything that's in the journal. It's not like I know stuff he doesn't think I do.

I think he might feel better if he writes in it again. 

We were currently in lunch. We'd gotten our math project back today, and we got a 100, so Riker was in a really good mood today.

"Riker, I need to talk to you about something."

"Ok... What is it?"

"Well... I have something of yours."

"You do? Did I leave something at your house?"

"Not exactly... A few weeks ago... I found something."

I took his journal out of my backpack.

"My journal! Y-you knew! W-why didn't you tell me!?"

He grabbed it from me.

"Riker, I didn't think it was a big deal. You already told me everything you've written in it."

"You read it!?"

"I was trying to find out who it belonged to."

Riker started to cry.

"Riker-"

"You lied to me!"

"I wasn't trying to!"

Riker shoved his journal in his backpack, and got up.

"Riker, wait!"

"No!"

He stormed out of the cafeteria. 

I don't know why this is such a big deal for him. He told me everything he wrote. I know he cuts, and I know he's had thoughts of suicide. He told me!

Whatever. I'm just going to give him some time...