The Journal

Chapter 20 : Rocky finds out

Chapter 20

The next day...

Riker POV

I didn't feel much better when I woke up today. I just desperately wanted to feel happier, so I decided to go to school and see what would happen.

I didn't try to find Kelsey before class, so I'm not sure what's going to happen between us. And she sat next to me in math class, but we didn't really have time to talk.

It was lunch now, and I was sort of stressing out about how it would go.

I slowly walked into the cafeteria and sat next to Kelsey.

"Why weren't you here yesterday?" Kelsey asked.

"I didn't want to come."

"Are you ok?"

It's like that question just triggers my tears. I started to cry and I couldn't stop. Kelsey pulled me into a hug.

"Riker, I'm sorry I didn't tell you I had your journal."

"I don't even care about that anymore! I just want to feel better!"

"You feel depressed?"

"Yes! And miserable!"

"Did something happen yesterday?"

"No! I just don't feel good! All I did was lay in bed all day, and I barely ate, and my mom didn't want me to go to school today because she was worried about me. I just want the hurting to stop."

"Ok, we can work on it. I'll help you, ok?"

"Ok... Can I come over after school?"

"Yeah, of course you can. I'm just glad you're ok."

Later...

Riker POV

Kelsey and I walked to her house. Once we got there, I flopped down on her bed and sighed.

"I need to tell you something..." I mumbled.

"What is it?"

"I cut."

I pulled up my sleeves so she could see.

"Riker..."

"I'm sorry! I had to! But it didn't even make me feel better! I just kept cutting and cutting, but it wasn't working!"

"Can I try to make them feel better?"

"Yeah..."

Kelsey took me to the bathroom and washed them off gently. Then she put some antibacterial stuff on them that she said would help them heal, and then she bandaged them.

"Do they hurt a lot?" She asked.

"They're really sore..."

"So you just really had a bad day yesterday?"

"Yeah..."

"You really need to try not to do that, Riker. Your wrists look awful. Worse than last time."

"I know, but-"

"No buts. I need you to try. Hard."

"Ok... I want to cuddle."

We sat on her bed, and she let me cuddle into her side. She gave me back rubs while we talked.

"I need to tell you something else," I mumbled.

"What?"

"So... After I cut, I took a nap. And my brother woke me up because my cuts opened in my sleep and my sleeve and my sheets were soaked in blood. I made him promise not to tell, and he doesn't know why I was bleeding because I wouldn't tell him."