Ceaseless (COMPLETED)

Chapter Twenty Six

Chapter 26: I have something to tell you

Warning: Malalandi ang mga bida natin dito. Read at your own risk. Hoho~

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I'M not certain when did my feelings started. I'm not even sure if it's possible to like two persons at the same time.

Pero noon pa, alam ko ng may mali na sa nararamdaman ko. Nung birthday ni Kuya Rave way back 5 years ago.

"Hatid mo na si Mikee. May tama na s'ya. Sasamba pa kayo bukas at baka hinahanap na yun sa kanila." Sabi ko kay Josh. At nung paalis na ako bigla sya nagsalita.

"Kahit konti ba? Wala?" tanong n'ya. "Calvy. Kapag ba kasama mo ako, wala ka manlang nararamdaman? Kahit konti? This sounds childish pero kung meron, pwede bang yakapin mo ako? Gusto kong malaman. Kung wala, just  turn your back. Iwan mo na ako dito at balikan mo na si Mikee."

I did hug him.

Isa siguro 'to sa mga dahilan kung bakit tinuloy n'ya yung pagka gusto n'ya sakin despite of Miguel. At alam kong pinaasa ko s'ya sa part na 'to.

I know that time na si Miguel ang gusto ko at ayoko talaga kay Josh. Pero kapag magkasama kami, iba yung nararamdaman ko. It contradicts what I want to happen. Gusto ko si Miguel. Kaya dapat si Miguel lang. Pero nung niyakap ko s'ya panandalian akong napaisip kung si Miguel nga ba?

It sounds like I'm a bitch. But it's true.

However, there's no turning back that time. Miguel and I were already dating. Hindi sa pinilit ko lang yung sarili ko na magustuhan si Miguel. Pinilit ko na kalimutan si Josh, iyon ang ginawa ko.

I forced myself to forget my little feelings for him because it's not right to have it in the first place. And the feelings I have for Miguel were sincere. Totoong minahal ko s'ya.

"But I like you!" I said. "Gusto kita! Gustong-gusto kita!"

"Calvy... Don't." sabi n'ya.

"Why?!"

"Hindi na ako yung Josh na kaibigan mo. And I'm not going to come back to what I used to be."

"It doesn't matter to me."

"Calvy, I don't deserve you! Hindi ako mabuting tao at ayokong hayaan na mapunta ka lang sa masamang katulad ko."

"Tanggap naman kita kahit gaano ka pa kasama! Ipagtatanggol kita kila Kuya. I'm ready for the consequences-"

"Hindi na kita mahal!... I hate to say this pero ayaw mo tumigil. Ayoko na sayo..."

Parang gumuho yung mundo ko sa sinabi n'ya. He rejected me right away, ibig sabihin wala na talaga.

"I already have someone I like. I met her 2 years ago and she's living in China. With me."

"That's an absurd."

"I'm already cheating on her right now. Alam mo ba 'yun? Please stop. You know how it hurts when someone cheats on you."

"Bakit mo ako hinalikan sa noo?"

"You're still my friend after all. But that's all."

Para akong sinampal ng sampung beses. Hindi na n'ya ako mahal. Ayaw na n'ya sa akin. Those words are painfully enough to build up my tears.

Hindi naman masakit. Okay lang. I'm forcing to think that way but I can't.

Matagal kong inipon yung lakas ng loob ko na masabi sa kanya. I did it on the night we were together in Electro but we're both drunk. Although the way he kiss me that night, I thought we still have a chance.