Bad Habits || Calum Hood (DISCONTINUED)

chapter fourteen

LAURENS POV.

I isolated myself completely. The past two days I have felt nothing but pain. And I hated it, I hated it so much. I wanted things to be right with everyone, but I just can't bring myself together to apologize. I haven't eaten, talked, or looked at anyone since that night. And I was planning on it anytime soon. I was a wreck and I knew that I was, what I was doing to myself. It's like I was drowning in my own thoughts, and I was. There was a sudden vibration coming from my phone that made me jumped. I checked to see who was calling and it was Michael. I sighed and picked it up.

"Hi." I said lowly and he let out a breath. I bit the inside of my cheek and fiddled with my fingers.

"Hey, Lauren.. I wanted to apologize. I have no idea what I was even thinking, I was drunk." his voice came out rather shaky and I layed back on my bed.

"I understand." I said smoothly and he chuckled which made a tiny smile appear on my lips. 

"How are you?" he questioned and I just froze. Well other than wanting to die every two fucking seconds I was okay.

"I'm alright." I shut my eyes and inhaled deeply, earning another chuckle from Michael.

"I'm coming over." he said quickly before hanging up and I sighed. I wasn't physically ready to see or talk to anyone. I had dried tear stains on my cheek and my eyes were puffy. I looked like a train hit me. But I didn't care, I deserved to feel like this. My mind immediatly raced to Calum and I just wanted to cry all over again.

The way he just let me walk home in the middle of the night, by myself, telling me he didn't care what happened to me can crush anyone I bet. And it made me feel so worthless, he was making me believe I was nothing. Like no one cared. I heard a small knock on the front door and I ran down stairs to see a smiling Michael.

"Hey." he pulled me into a hug and I inhaled the faint mit coming from his sweater.

"Hi." I said quietly and walked to my couch. He shut the front door and joined me, sitting right next to me.

"You said you were okay, you don't look okay." he chuckled and pointed out my puffy eyes. I giggled and locked eyes with him. He looked fine.

"I guess." I said plainly and looked at my socks. He sighed and shifted his position, leaning his head against the couch.

"Taylor broke up with me." he said lowly and I'd understand why she would. She probably hates my guts.

"She hates me." I muttered and he chuckled, itching the back of his neck.

"Yeah, everyone is mad at us. Luke told me he didn't wanna talk to me or you." he gazed at the ground and I felt that same pain in my chest. I just nodded as I felt a lump in my throat that was getting harder to swallow. I felt tears prickling in my eyes and I just couldn't hold it in. All this pain was just so overwhelming and I could not, no matter how hard I tried, to hold it in. I broke into sobs.

"Hey don't cry." Michael pulled me on his lap and wrapped his arms tightly around me. He seemed to be the only one that even cared. Not even my own mother cared, she didn't even notice. I cried into his chest as he stroked my hair.

"It's gonna be okay." he whispered and my heart shattered. I knew for a fact it wasn't gonna be okay. My bestfriends hate me. And so does my boyfriend. The world was closing in on me, and it felt like I couldn't breathe anymore. 

"No its not." I pulled away from Michael who was breathing heavily. I looked down at his shirt that was now wet with my tears and I chuckled.

"Sorry." I mumbled and got up. He chuckled and stood up too.

"I'm tired." I yawned and stretched. I've been saying that too much lately, and it's not me being physically tired. I was mentally tired.

"I'll leave." he gave me a small smile before pressing his lips to my forehead and leaving. And once again, my body filled with loneliness. I did this to myself, and again, I deserved it. I deserved it. I deserved it.

My phone once again,  started buzzing. I yawned, running my fingers through my hair and grabbed my phone. My heart stopped as soon as I saw the caller ID, Calum.

"What?" I said rather harshly into the phone. 

"Hey it's Ashton. I didn't have your number in my phone and so I called you from Calum's. Hes drunk and about to kill someone." he chuckled nervously and I rolled my eyes.

"I don't care." I simply said. I heard Calum yelling in the background. 

"Can you please just come? He probably wont stop until he sees you." Ashton sighed and I looked in the mirror, putting on my shoes. 

"Whatever. I'll be there." I huffed as I walked out of my house and to my car.

As I pulled into the driveway I saw Ashton trying to calm Calum down as he knocked a vase onto the floor, screaming. I ran inside and over to the two boys that were yelling at eachother. Calum didn't seem to notice me, but Ashton did. 

"I thought she fucking loved me!" Calum yelled at Ashton and I swear my face went pale and I felt sick to my stomach. Ashton glanced at me and then Calum turned around, his eyebrows knitted together as he stared at me. He seemed to relax and there was that same lump in my throat once again. My eyes started burning as everything became blurry.

"Speaking of the bitch." Calum mumbled and Ashton shot him a glare. 

"Is this what you wanted? For me to come here just so you can taunt me. Because I'll leave." I already felt the warm tears spilling from my eyes as I sniffled it back. 

"So then leave, no one asked you to be here." Calum hissed and I already had enough.

I felt, and I wasn't going back. 

･ﾟ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ✧

HIIII. there was like 3 people that told me to update

so here it is! it was really bad but i tried