Lips Lickin' Lolli's For Money • Joshler One-Shot Stories

She's Beautiful Joshua

Long A/N at the end of this, sorry but please read it.

N-not smut, but will update again after it's edited.

Entry 1

You told me we would build this together. You told me that we would all be happy. You said I would be amazing at this. And I believed you, and I am so happy to see her, so happy that she is ours, so happy that we get to take care of a perfect angel. I believed you, and for what feels like the millionth time. You were right. You're always right

Entry 2

She can be a hassle. But she sure loves her Daddy. You make a wonderful father. I knew you would. Maybe it's because of the way you smile, maybe it's because you wouldn't leave her side for a moment, so now she trust you with all her heart. Well, she chose right, because that's how I feel about you, Josh Dun. You are perfect in every way. You said we were ready, you said she's the perfect one. And you were right. You're always right.

Entry 5

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come home so late. I just wish it didn't happen so soon. I love having her in my arms, I love putting her to sleep. But I hate how whenever I have her in my arms, it seems like you have no other will to live than to look over her. We are doing this together Josh, I am capable, you said I was. I thought we would do this together. You said that right? I know you did because you are right. You're always right.

Entry 17

You slept in the newborn's room tonight. Will this happen more often? I don't want it to, I feel like the night is when I have my chance to really make you mine. To feel okay with where we are now. It's stupid, I know. But do you ever think that I need reassurance? You know me, you know of my past, and yet I feel like it's not being taken into consideration. I don't feel like I can do everything right. But you can. You're always doing the right thing.

Entry 53

I miss you. Charlie is well, she tried to crawl today. I wanted to tell you, but you didn't even acknowledge me when you walked through the door. You didn't give me a kiss or tell me about work. You didn't eat your dinner, only fed Charlie. You danced with Charlie, you sang to Charlie. I never heard you sing before Josh, you're really good when you really get into it. I wish you did that. While you live with Charlie, I'm living with memories, I remember when you told me that I could fight my demons. And I trusted you, I'm trying my best, but it's starting to worsen. But you're right, you're always right.

Entry 80

You got upset with me today.

Entry 83

I stayed with Brendon and Sarah. I shouldn't have left you guys. I miss you both so much, but I don't know Josh. For once, I don't think this is right. I don't think there is an us.

Entry 84

I came back home. You kissed me. I missed your lips. You kissed me harder. I asked about Charlie all you said was napping. Then you kissed my neck, then my collarbones. You just kept kissing me, and it felt so good Josh. You made love to me, you made me feel a height that had been lost by clouds, you made me feel wanted. You made it feel like it was just us. I don't regret it, but maybe we should've waited longer. We're so young, we should have waited and maybe then. I still love Charlie, and God knows I love you. I just wish you would see though, that the wars are coming back. You told me I could fight them, but you aren't right

Entry 107

You found me and my dirty secret. I swear, it wasn't supposed to get this bad. You kept telling me how stupid I was, kept asking me why I was leaving Charlie behind. Asked me why I would leave you behind after everything we have done and built together. I didn't mean to say the words. I didn't mean them for you to take me to the hospital and leave me until morning. I didn't mean to say, "You left me." You probably feel guilty. I didn't mean that for you, but you're right, I was the one taking the easy way out. You're always right

Entry 154

I made the decision. She's beautiful Josh.

Entry 160

I love you so much, I don't think you feel the same way. I told you I love you, as one last stray. One last attempt to make me stay. I told you I love you so that you could look at me as I laid on the couch, with your big chocolate eyes and say it back with as much admiration as I had. I told you I love you, and all you said back was "what". That was my break, Josh. Charlie was never a mistake, it was your actions. You broke me more than I ever thought you could. Charlie is an angel, yes she should be cherished, yes she deserves love. But josh weren't we supposed to do that together. Were we not supposed to be a family. Why'd you leave me? You don't make love to me anymore, you don't give me kisses. I'm leaving you, Joshua. I just need time. I think this is right.

Entry 162

I told you I was leaving, you told me the news that I never thought I would hear out of your mouth. It had crushed me, it had burned more than the fiery pits of hell. She had your nose, your eyes, your smile. Why didn't I see it sooner? Charlie was never a choice, she was your biological daughter. Six months old, dumped by the tramp of a mother, and you took her in. You couldn't even tell me. Were you ever going to tell me? Were you ever going to tell me that you cheated, got someone pregnant and now I was apart of her life? You weren't. You were gonna hold off that train. I don't think I can Josh. I'm sorry.

Later

You did good Josh. You did well. I shouldn't have left. I should've helped. That was a mistake on my end. I was wrong for leaving like that, years wasted now. But your's spent well. She's beautiful Josh.

I'm getting ideas, and like they are great ideas. I love writing and I like to every once in a while be able to just write without any smut, although this is a smut book. but it is also a one-shot story, where I put all my stories that I thought could've made it but didn't kind of thing. So I really hope you, my people's, don't mind that not every chapter after this will be smut. There will be times of some fluff. I feel like I should say this now because it'll be a reoccurring thing. Also, there will be more short stories, and what not, so I just thought it'd be good for me to settle it here. Whenever I make a shot, where there is no smut, like I've done a couple times before, I will label it in the beginning. Every other chapter, believe that it is smut. But it's just because, I love writing smut, yet somedays, I am not in the mood for smut, but I still want to write. And that is where that fluff comes in, and they are cute, awkward, or funny, or in this case emotional, and I needed to get it out. Or it'll ruin my need to write. I started to use this extension on my computer that helps me get most of my mistakes easier through Wattpad because Docs lets a lot of things slip by. And I hope you guys see that change. Not in just this book, but in Kidnapped, starting at like Chap 16 because that's like the most recent one that went up. But I just wanted to get my point across that, in this smut book, there will be fluffs and other types of chapters that may not include smut, more often than what it is now. Thanks for enjoying, thank you for everything, and loves all around!
xRiv