Lips Lickin' Lolli's For Money • Joshler One-Shot Stories

•Hold Me Tighter•

This is kind of crappy. But ok...

Relationships have their ups and downs. Sometimes it's impossible to go to bed, wanting to be in separate rooms, give each other that chance to just calm down so the next morning both could wake up, understand mistakes attempt to fix it and work as a team.

It is impossible to dodge the harsh bumps in the road. They've tried for years till it was their first fight, in the car, on the way to Tyler's parent's house for Christmas. Tyler has been having problems, neither of them at first knew what was going on.

The dizziness waking up, the way his lower tummy would always feel so heavy as if he were bloated. He thought it was food poisoning and so did Josh, the two taking a couple days of work off to try and fix whatever was wrong. But Josh had to return and Tyler was sweating. 

They both had come to the conclusion that Tyler should just go to the doctor. The moment day the doctor came back with news that made them both quiet. They haven't talked about it till the car ride.

The seven hour one where music just wasn't enough, listening to every mainstream one at least five times, going through Josh's collection stack at least twice and internet was just being a buzzkill till there was no music. Just them, and the topic of Tyler being pregnant was brought up.

Tyler didn't want to talk about it, for one he was twenty two, he doesn't feel ready. Although no one does when it comes to a child, but Tyler did want to have kids. Honestly didn't think it would happen like this as he could've sworn he was a male, but the doctor just twisted his neck and said, well my dude, you're pregnant.

And two, he honestly didn't know what to do with their unborn child. He hated to say it, but he honestly didn't want to keep. It was too soon, their relationship is strong, but Tyler is honestly not ready. But will ridding their unborn child break their relationship? Tyler was so confused in everything, on all his choices once they reached his parents.  

Walking up the driveway and into the home was painfully awkward, Josh was tense, his eyes always casted worried. Speaking to parents was so distasteful, keeping a strange secret from unknown possible grandparents.

He got a bad feeling as Tyler left, on to find as he went into the kitchen and began taking glass after glass of wine. Tears gathered in his eyes, he stood up walking towards Tyler, the man turning to look at him come towards the kitchen. But Josh stopped, hands clenched, he walked away, up the stairs to Tyler's old bedroom where they were staying.

His breathing was getting heavy, his eyes were getting blurry, oh fuck, oh fuck. It felt like a foot was pressing to his chest, he was searching through his bag, search, search, search. He couldn't take it, the suitcase was too big, he forgot his pills, he doesn't know. He leaned down, dropping to his knees in front of the bag, fingers twisting in his hair and pulling as he attempted to breathe.

Pills, he couldn't find them. He couldn't find the right thing, he can't believe he left them home. He then felt a hand on his lower back, making more tears come out of his eyes, before turning into sobs. It was just the sight, it kept jabbing in his brain. That was his kid inside Tyler, yet the man seemed so destructive. He felt horrible just leaving and letting it happen. He did this, his fault, his fault.

"Baby, I need you to breathe, come on," Tyler's voice was somewhat coming through. It was like in and out, Tyler pushing at his shoulder to turn him around. There was water in one hand, and he was shaking a pill bottle, one large pill coming out and bouncing along his palm. "Here," he whispered.

Josh wiped his tears, he grabbed at the items, taking the pill, his breathing stuttering as he looked at Tyler. The man sitting in front of him, criss-cross and smiling sadly. Josh felt himself being grounded, he let out a sigh, looking at Tyler then instantly looking away. "I want to sleep."

"I'll tell my parents we're done for the night. After the ride we've had to do, i'm sure they'll understand. Tyler left, and Josh began taking off his clothes, down to his boxers before diving into the bed, that still managed to smell like his lover. He let out a sigh, the bag now on the floor, and the cool sheets, soothing his mental.

Tyler came back in, instantly beginning to take off his clothes. Josh couldn't help but stare at him, it was almost satisfying to watch him take off his clothes. Tyler then got inside the bed, his back turned to Josh. The dead silence that became known in the room did not help Josh. Not one bit, the olders eyes starting to gloss once again. He was a softie, Tyler was in love with that. He never found it annoying. If anything, it was adorable and made him believe he was loved and cared for. It was enough.

Josh let out a breath, he let his hand move under the covers before wrapping around Tyler's waist. Once he had a hold of him, he pulled him in, closer, closer, till they were conjoined. They both let out a breath of relief, and Tyler honestly felt guilty, but being this close had switched him. He missed Josh, he hated what happened to them for the last week.

He put his hand over Josh's, a silent reassurance. "This decision is big, Tyler. I understand you're scared, and maybe we aren't ready. Whatever you want, I'll go with you. I love you, so much. But don't choose the most destructive way." Josh breathed against his neck, pressing a kiss there. "We won't talk about it until we get back home. We'll figure something out, I promise."

Josh couldn't see it, Tyler hated crying in front of Josh. But staying silent, he let his tears fall. Yes, he was scared, this is a big deal. His hand in Josh's had tightened, he couldn't stop the run. And the trail of kisses down his spine made it worse. The trail that made him feel good, feeling Josh surround him, his breathing getting heavy.  Josh was everywhere, his back hitting the mattress with legs open.

Josh over him, taking his time before loving his every feel. Gasping every other second, closer, warmer, tears. Tears from both of them, slower. Josh held him close, hands wrapped around him as he sat up to sit on his heels. Tyler in his lap, lips twisted as each thrust was slow. Holding him tighter, closer. His fault, his fault. It still nagged, which made Josh's hands hold him tighter,  his thrust almost painfully slow, but nonetheless, Tyler was tightening around him, gasping into his neck.

Josh followed, both arms around Tyler, pressing in deep, relief and guilt settling in at the same time. Tyler pulled back, looking at Josh, his eyes searching. "We talk when we get home," Tyler told him. And Josh nodded, kissing him, again, and again and again before he saw Tyler's smile again. Something thumping in his chest, perfect. "I'm sorry, J. I love you so much."

"You're too perfect for me, my sweet."