Holographic ➸ Ashton Irwin ➸ 1/3

*chapter twenty-six*

-Alyce-

I sat in Michael’s living room staring at the sofa that Ashton had been sitting on hours before. Luke was to my left and Calum to my right. None of us had said many words, the only noises escaping my mouth were the soft sobs of pain. 

Leaning my head onto Luke’s shoulder he groaned slightly before pulling me closer. I honestly felt terrible. Looking at Calum, his lip was purple and I didn't even want to imagine how painful the shiner around his eye was. I can’t believe how Ashton practically attacked him, more so I cannot believe how Calum in some ways stood up for me. 

Michael sauntered in with three pizza boxes, I was hungry when we ordered them but suddenly I wasn't so starving anymore. Actually I felt more sick than anything. Calum dived for the food but his actions only caused him to sigh in agony. Immediately I felt bad for him. 

“I’m so sorry Calum” I murmured to the lad who was now sitting at the dining room table. 

He smiled it off, pretending that his body didn't hurt. But even his eyes couldn't hide the torture of his aches. Slowly, Luke and I joined them that at the table. My hand stayed firmly with Luke’s, after the events of the last hour I didn't want to let him out of my eyes. What would Liz think of me now? Oh that sweet, smart girl that came over for dinner got my son a black eye and bruised nose. Somehow I don't think she would quite approve of me. 

Michael said he had got a text off of Ashton saying that he had left to go to the city, no surprise there. But that our, or is it mine or is it his apartment was empty and that I am free to go there whenever. The fact that I could go home to the place we lived, together, as a couple but without the comfort of the old Ashton genuinely broke my heart. I don't even know how we got here or why he felt the need to do everything he did. 

In retrospect I should have guessed something was up when he didn't tell me about the gig, or the times he repeatedly forgot to pick me up but could remember to pick one of his boys up.

“You not eating Little One?” Luke whispered into my ear as I woke from my thoughts.

I peered into his bright blue eyes, highlighted by the deepening purple ring around his left eye. This boy had been so good to me, and right now I feel I let him down. Sure anyone could tell me that he knew what he was getting himself into when he slept with his best friends girlfriend but maybe it wasn't just his decision? Could it be possible that it was fate we would be together, that something more powerful decided our destiny. Who am I kidding. I sound delusional. 

Gently I pressed my lips against his. I didn't know what else to do but kiss him. There was nothing I could say to him that would mean more or convey more emotion than a kiss. 

I felt his lips kiss back, but not forcefully. Passionately. His already heavy breathing became weighed down with the kiss. Tenderly I placed my hand onto his cheek to cover the bruise that was hunting my mind. I did that to him. That bruise was my fault. He flinched slightly as my hand made contact with soft skin. 

As we both came out of the kiss our eyes remained connected, yet neither seemed happy. Some would say we finally got what we wanted, we can be together. But is that what we want? I certainly had strong feelings for the boy and I know his feelings are strong for me. However I still have to think of the bigger picture. Was the love for Luke overshadowed by the agony of losing Ashton? 

Moments after our tender exchange we focused our attention to the pizza on the table. Still not feeling to eat anything I just watched the three boys guzzle down food.

“So…are you guys crashing here? Or do you want to go back to yours Alyce?” Michael asked lifting another slice of pizza up.

I hadn't given much thought as to where I was going to stay. All of me wanted to stay here at Michaels, but I hadn't been home in a week. Walking through the door would be heart wrenching pain but I had to do it at some point.