I guess I need help

School is a living hell

I wake up at the sound of my alarm. Monday. I take out my phone and shut off the alarm. It's annoying. I check my nofications. Just a bunch of snaps and a text from my dad who says he's already away shooting. I text him that I'm up and I go get ready for school. So I have an presentation today, so I shouldn't put on so much makeup. Because every time I have an presentation I end up having a mental breakdown instead. Even though it has happened multiple times, the teachers won't do anything about it. So I'll just suffer through it and get an F in all my subjects I guess. I get a text back from my dad but I don't have the energy to look at it. God now I'm all stressed because of the presentation, I really need a smoke. But of course Gaga has all my packages and I haven't got any new ones, so now I have to do my plan B. I go take out my blade. I clean up my arm when I'm done and then I get a call. It's Michael.

K:Heyyy

M:Hi! I'm outside, you coming?

K:Yeah, just gotta put my shoes on.

M:Great! Bye

K:On my way! Bye!

I hang up the phone and take on my shoes quickly as possible. Then I decide to take the stairs instead of the elevator. When I'm downstairs I'm greeted by Michael and Kimberly.
"KAYLA!!" Kimberly says and run up to me and hugs me.
"Hiii!"I say and hug her tightly back. She lets go and Michael hugs me. He smiles and then Kimberly takes out a pack of cigs.
"Omg you got me the pink ones?!" I ask in shock.
"I know you've wanted them for some time, so see this as a little gift. Because Gaga took your cigs." She says
"Thank you, you're amazing" I say and hug her again, then I open the package. I take out three of them. We light them and then walk our way to school.
"So are you ready for the presentation?" Kimberly asks me.
"Not at all. I know I will have a mental breakdown again" I say and Kimberly give me a smile.
"The teachers should really help you and stop making you do this when you clearly can't. And it's not your fault, at all." She says.
"It's very irritating honestly, they should know that not everyone is capable of talk infront of people" Michael joins in.
"Yeah, but whatever, I'll be fine. I'll just talk with the teachers. Either before the breakdown or after" I say with a little laugh.
"Whatever you say" Michael says and looks at me with a smile before putting his cigarette in his mouth. When we're close to school we see the others. Cole runs up to me.
"KAYKAY" He yells and hugs me.
"COCO"I yell back. We both laugh.
"You two are crazy" Lilly says laughing and hugs me. The bell rings and we all split up to our different classes. Cole, Kimberly and Millie are in the same class as me. Art class. Presentation. I can't do this. I really can't. I can really feel my body shaking. My teacher gives me a reassuring smile as soon as I get into the classroom. I give her a small fake smile back. I walk towards my seat. I should've stayed home. Everyone is starring at me. Everyone knows that i'll fuck it up. I should just jump out of school.
"Kimberly do you want to start?" My teacher interrupts my thoughts. I look over at Kimberly who nods and walk up to our teacher. Mrs.White. My knee is shaking, I can't make it be still. Kimberly is doing her presentation, she makes it look so easy. I just wish I would be able to do it as well. But I can't because there's something inside of me telling me otherwise. Kimberly is already done, I feel terrible that I didn't pay more attention. But I just couldn't. Everyone else is applauding so I join.
"Next is, Kayla" Mrs.White says. I freeze. Everyone looks at me, I stand up not knowing what to do. Cole takes my hand, I turn around looking at him.
"I can't do it" I whisper to him, I feel tears in my eyes.
"Kayla?" Mrs.White says. I walk to the door and leave the classroom, Cole walks after me.
"Kayla stop!"Cole shouts. I'm running. Luckily there's no other students in the corridor.
"Cole I'm such a failure I can't do anything, I suck. I don't know why I have to be like this."I shout back at him. My tears have turned into sobs.
"Kayla you're wrong" Cole shouts back, he's still behind me. I walk into the bathroom, Cole can't go in there. But the second I walked in there, I regretted it.
"Look who it is, if it isn't the attention whore" I hear Emily say. I turn around to face her. I hate her just as much as I hate presentations. She's the main reason of the bullying against me. She made everyone turning against me. She made those boys carry me and throw me into the trash. She made my ex-friends turn against me. She damaged me.
"Oh and you're crying" She continues. With her ugly little laugh.
"Emily, just shut the fuck up. I've had enough of problems today, just leave me alone."I say starting to walk towards one of the bathroom stalls. When she grabs my arm.
"You're not going anywhere. We're not done here. I've seen you actually have friends now. Well not for long honey" She says with an evil smirk.
"Go to hell" I say shrugging her hand off my arm. She spits after me.
"Not until you're gone first" She says walking out of the bathroom. I hear Mrs.Whites voice outside, and Coles. Then Mrs.White walks in.
"Kayla" She says. I'm leaning my back on the wall.
"I'm sorry, I just really can't do it" I say.
"No, it's okay. I won't pressure you anymore."She says. I just nod.
"But I heard that you and Emily were fighting."She continues.
"Don't bother, she's mean to me all the time."I say.
"It doesn't make it okay" She says, looking at me with a sad look.
"I know" I say, looking down at the floor. I can't look into someone's eyes.
"You know you can always talk to me or someone of the other teachers if there's something you need to say" She says. I just nod.
"Do you want to come back in class or?" She asks. I nod again. We walk out of the bathroom, and Cole were standing m. He hugs me, then we walk back into class. Ugh I wish I wasn't such a drama queen. Why am I like this? I'm such a fucking mess. Kimberly and Lilly smiles at me, I give them a little smile back. I sit down and try to listen to the others presentations but I can't really concentrate. My mind keeps wandering away. The bell rings and we get out.
"Hm do you wanna know something fun" Lilly says, with a tone that showed it was clearly something not funny. We all nod.
"Emily just texted me, about you Kayla" She says. I let out a deep sigh.
"What did she say now" I ask. Lilly hands me her phone.
You should really stop hanging out with Kayla. She's a complete mess. No one likes her, not even her own mother. If you keep hanging out with her, you're gonna regret it. Hate her, and you're future will be bright😘
I shake my head and give Lilly back her phone.
"I got the same text" Kimberly says checking her phone.
"Me too" Cole says.
"Guys, it's cool if you and the others stop hanging out with me. Really. I'm used to it so it's fine. I don't want you to pay because of me" I say with a smile. Obviously fake.
"Never Kayla. She doesn't scare me. I would never do that to a friend" Lilly says.
"Agreed" Kimberly says.
"Have you been mean to me?" Cole asks me. I shake my head.
"Do you hate me?" He asks. I shake my head again.
"Would you do this to me?" He asks.
"Never" I say.
"Then why would I or any of the others do this to you?" He asks.
"That's what my previous friends have done." I say. Kimberly comes up to me and give me a hug.
"Then there fake ass bitches honey" She says. God what did I do to deserve this.