I let go of my tears, letting them slide down my cheeks as I rested my head in the pillow, wondering what had happened. Sana sinampal nalang ako ni Matt kaysa ibalik sa sarili kong kwarto. Pero parang ganun na din iyon..being slapped in the face with a heavy dose of reality.
"He's a zillionaire, Kathy. Wake up. Bakit sa tingin mo ba maliban sa ikama ka may iba pa syang gustong gawin sayo? You must be insane to even think about it."
I had to remind myself that I am a big girl now. Sarili kong desisyon ang ibigay ang sarili ko kay Matt. Hindi niya ako pinilit. And he let me decide what I want.
But why does this hurt so much?
Kahit hirap akong tumayo, ginawa ko pa din para makapagsuot ako ng night dress before returning to my bed. I drew the covers tightly around my body. Nakaramdam ako ng matinding lamig. Matt had been hot, so warm. Now all I felt was cold and empty.
Isinantabi ko muna ang sakit na nararamdaman ko. Siguro may dahilan si Matt, siguro hindi naman niya gustong gawin ito. Matt had issues. The restraints and the blindfold. It's so frustrating that I dont even know why he is being like this. And I know that it's something deeper. Something darker.
Hindi ko naman na problema ang problema ni Matt at sa tingin ko ay hindi siya matutuwa kung makikialam ako sa personal niyang buhay. But I wanted to help him. Hindi niya kasalanan kung bakit wala siyang nararamdaman sakin kundi makamundong pagnanasa lang. He'd been nothing but generous and kind to me. Pwede ko naman siyang tulungan. Maybe he could fall in love and have a happy ending with the woman he loves.
Biglang kumirot ang puso ko sa naisip ko. No, Kathy. Simon deserved to be happy. At kailangan ko siyang tulungan. I need to be a friend to him.
Pero gusto mo higit pa sa pagkakakaibigan. Diba?
"Tumigil ka Kathy! Kung ano ano ang naiisip mo. Hindi ka na nadala sa nangyari kanina!!" bulong ko sa madilim kong kwarto. Kumuha ako ng unan at itinakip sa mukha ko, umaasang matatahimik na ang utak ko sa pag iisip.
But it didnt.
And it took me quite some time to finally fall into a troubled, restless sleep that brought dreams of a handsome, dark haired, dark gray eyed man with an expression filled with anguish and misery, trying to fight demons the he couldnt really see.
MATTHEW'S POV
I woke up the morning after that unforgettable sexual encouter with Kathy, surrounded by the scent of her and feeling like something was missing from my bed.
Umikot ako sa kabilang side ng kama ko, iniiwasang kong isipin ang mga nangyari kagabi. I pulled a pillow into my face and breathed in Kathy's scent, a scent that would hunt me forever. And every time I smelled her scent, I would think about her taste. Her smile. Her moans. Her beautiful body. Her cries when she came for me, her flesh tightening around mine until I found my release.
"Ah tangna!!! Ano bang nangyayari sakin? Im so fucking obsessed with her."
What happened last night was a life changing event for me. At kahit kailan ay hindi na ako maghahanap ng iba maliban kay Kathy. I wasnt sure whether to be pissed or in awe of the woman who made me feel like this.
Inaamin kong kahit nag iiba-iba ako ng babae hindi ko naman sila pinagsasabay. One at a time lang.
And taking Kathy back to her room had been one of the harderst thing I had ever done. Dahil ang sabi ko ay isang gabi at iyon din ang sinang ayunan niya. And I had never ever been able to sleep with a woman and never wanted to until...last night. Gusto kong matulog kasama siya, habang nakayakap siya sakin at mararadaman ko ang mainit na hininga niya sa aking leeg.
Pagkatapos ko siyang ibalik sa kwarto niya hindi ako bumalik sa sarili kong kwarto. Hindi ako makakatulog sa amoy na alam kong wala naman sa tabi ko. Inubos ko ang oras ko sa gym hanggang sa mapagod ako at makaramdam ng antok pero kahit ito ay hindi nakatulong sa akin. Hindi ko na nga alam kung anong oras ako nakatulog.
Kahit hindi ako nakatulog ng ayos ay maag pa din akong nagising. I slid out of my bed and went to the shower.
I showered quickly, hating that this means Im washing away her scent, and made my way to the kitchen, wondering if Kathy was still asleep. I grabbed a cup of coffee and walked around the condo. Her bedroom door was open, the bed made.
"Gising na si Kathy. Pero nasaan siya?"
Pumunta ako sa veranda at sa study room pero wala din siya doon.
She's not here.
I felt a moment of panic. Bumalik ulit ako sa kwarto niya, my heart racing. I knew she wouldnt leave. She had no reasons to go. Parehas naman naming ginusto ang nagyari sa isang gabing hiningi ko.
One night.
One night, my ass. One night will never be enought. SHE'S MINE.
I known it last night and I knew it now. I would never get enough of Kathy kahit anong gawin ko. Now that I possessed her once, I wanted her again and again.
Naalala kong binigyan ko nga pala siya ng bagong phone noong nasa office kami. Sana lang. Sana. Dinala niya ito. I snatched my phone from a table in the living room and sent a text message to her.
"U ok?"
I tapped my finger against the screen of my phone. Naiinip na ako. Fvck, I didnt even know if she had her phone. Mababaliw na ako sa pag aalala.
The phone beeped, startling me enough for me to spill my coffe into the table. I read her reply.
"Police station. Tell u about it later."
