Shadows | Clalec

Chapter 32

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Alec sat next to me in bed and handed me over the medicine he got from the infirmary.

"Here and take them. They will recover you fast." He said and I nodded. He touched with his fingers my neck and I closed my eyes as I enjoyed his touch. I followed every movement he was making and I saw that he was activating my iratze rune. I totally forgot about that one. I looked at Alec and gave him a small smile.

"Thank you." I thanked him and he nodded. There was an awkward silence between us and it made me feel annoyed. I know that Alec does not know how to work with this kind of situations and to be fair, I was not a pro myself either. It was hard and especially if you have denied your feelings for months.

"So do you come here often?" Alec asked and he widened his eyes when he realised what kind of stupid question he was asking me. I looked at him and I couldn't have a straight face anymore - and started laughing.

"I live here." I said while laughing. Alec tried to have his neutral angry face expression but quickly started laughing when I laughed again.

"I warned you. I am bad at this." He said and I nodded. He was terrible at it but it made him look so cute. A side of him that I haven't seen. I would love to see this forever. To be like this with him forever.

"It makes you look adorable." I said with honesty and Alec quickly shook his head.

"I am Alec. The one who is angry all the time. I can't be cute." He said and I rolled my eyes at him. He chuckled and held my hand. I looked at him and caught my heart again beating faster than usual. This effect that he had on me was abnormal but yet felt magnificent.

"I think that Alec Lightwood is finally changing into someone else." I said and winked at him. He smiled and nodded.

"I think so too. All because of one beautiful girl." He said and looked at me. His eyes were almost screaming out how much he admired and amused this. How much he desired this and how much he had waited for this. It was almost like he was in love with me. I blushed and looked at our hands that were connected to one another.

He held me tight and came a bit closer to me. I looked at him again and now I could read from his facial expression that he was serious.

"You scared the hell out of me today. I thought I had lost you." He softly said. It made him look so vulnerable and scared. Almost like a little boy who would be scared of the darkness. I thought again of the situation that had happened between Jonathan and me which gave me chills all over my body. I think Alec noticed because he held my hand a bit tighter and gave me a small smile.

"I don't know what happened. I saw this rune and I used it. It scared Jonathan away but after that, I felt enormous pain and passed out." I said confused and looking at Alec, I could see that he was confused too. I guess it was not normal that runes would appear out of nowhere.

"What do you mean?" Alec asked confused, totally not understanding what I just had said. We were both clueless about the rune.

"When Jonathan grabbed me by my neck I saw the rune. My first instinct was to use it and I did." I explained and Alec his grip tightened on my hand.

"Jonathan grabbed you by your neck?" He asked angrily and I could see that his anger was building up. It was a matter of time before he was going insane.

"It is fine. I am fine. Look at me. I am okay. I am here with you." I reassured him quickly and I saw him looking at me. He moved my hair away from my neck and looked at my neck.

"There are scratches on your neck..." He whispered. His voice sounded broken, almost like he was hurting himself but then again he might be. We were parabatai. We felt each other's feelings...

"It is fine. It will fade away." I said and let my hand rest on his cheek. He closed his eyes and then looked at me.

"How do you do this?" He asked me. I frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"How do you stay so calm when my uncle, your father and brother are after you? I would be going insane." He said truthfully and I sighed out.

"If I need to be honest. I am terrified. Not for myself but for the others. If I die the whole shadow world dies with me and I can't do that. I never asked for this but yet got this responsibility with me. It is sometimes a lot to take in." I said. Alec seemed like he understood what he said. He came closer to me and pulled me into a hug.

"And I was not really making it easy for you either. I am sorry." He apologised and I smiled - and looked at him. He finally apologised. I laughed and let my head rest on his chest.

"Why are you laughing?" Alec asked a bit offended. I shook my head and lifted my head up from his chest so I could look at him. His facial expression showed me that he was not amused by my reaction to his oh so late apology.

"Because it reminds me of how we were before. You never really apologised until now. It's just different and nice." I said and he smiled - and nodded as he agreed with me.

"Would you ever think we would end up like this?" I asked him out of curiosity. He shook his head.

"No, I would never think that I would develop feelings for you. It is not you but me. I never really did that no matter who it was." Alec said and I nodded to show that I understood what he was saying.

I knew that girls would try on him but it made me feel relieved knowing that Alec did not really care about them. I was feeling special because of all those girls I was the one he truly wanted. I was the one he kissed. I was the one he opened up too.

"Did you ever had a boyfriend?" He asked and I nodded. I could tell from his facial expression that he was not happy about it. He was jealous because he never did have a girl.

"I was 6 years old and he asked me out because it was a bet. I had a boyfriend for just ten minutes." I said and Alec started laughing. I kicked him with my elbow in his hip and he pretended that he got injured by my action.

"I am relieved that I am still your first one." He said and I looked at him. I could feel my cheeks burn up and knowing myself my cheeks were turning red - and he was able to see that.

"Euhm..." I mumbled and shyly hid my face in his chest. I heard him chuckle.

"We should sleep. You need rest and I have a long day tomorrow." He said and my heart jumped when he mentioned that we were sleeping tonight together. I nodded. Alec took his shirt off and I tried not to stare at him, at least not in a creepy way. He laid down in bed and I did the same.

I was exhausted. Today, I think that I had almost died. At least everyone thought I did. I couldn't feel my body just because of the pain. I let my head rest on Alec's chest and held his hand as I closed my eyes.

I couldn't hear anyone but some shadowhunters passing by as they were on their night duties. I could hear them arguing about who would lead the mission or who would approach the demon. Just a few months ago I would be concerned if I got into college or not. I would never imagine that I was going to be a legend of the shadow world.

I curled up closer to Alec. I wish we could always be like this. Be together and happy without any arguments. Without wishing Alec a goodnight I fell asleep.