Shadows | Clalec

Chapter 35

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ALEC'S POV

I looked around me and saw Jace stab a demon. We were send on a mission. Apparently the demons were coming from a source which was Agramon. I saw a demon coming behind Izzy and I quickly let my arrow fly right in the demon's chest. The demon growled out loud in pain and then burned up in flames - and faded away. Izzy looked at me and gave me a small smile just to thank me which I returned. I looked around the forest. The demons had made it look like hell. The trees were half burned and everywhere was demon blood.

I wish that Clary could be here with us but I knew I had to let her stay at home. After what had happened to her which was still a mystery to all of us I needed her to stay in the institute. I needed to know that she was safe in the institute. Jonathan would never stop hunting nor would Agramon. They would haunt her down whenever she was out of the walls of the institute. I would do anything but anything to keep her safe. The love I had for Clary was something that I had never felt for someone.

I wanted her... Every single second. I want to kiss her, touch her and hold her. I never knew I could feel like this about someone. I never knew I was capable of doing that. I sighed when I saw Jace playing around with the demon. He made the demon run after him in circles while he was laughing at him. It was almost like the demon was his pet. Why does he always have to be so childish? Annoyed I sighed and saw that Liz rolled her eyes at Jace. She pushed Jace away from the demon and killed the demon he was playing with. He pouted at Liz and Liz laughed - and shook her head.

"You have to grow up." Liz said and Jace winked at her. For a second I thought that she was blushing but the next thing that happened was that Jace was on the floor due to Liz tackling him. Liz let one of her feet rest on Jace's chest and winked at him. Was it just me or was there sexual attention between them?

I sighed and my mind travelled again back to Clary. To the day when I became her parabatai. The reason why I became her parabatai was fucked. What would Clary do if she had to find out that I became her parabatai for a good alliance with the clave? She would hate you my subconscious reminded me and anxiety overwhelmed due to the thought of losing Clary. I know that I had made a mistake but in that time I couldn't control my emotions. Seeing her with Simon and the confusing emotion that is called love was so obnoxious. When my mother told me that the clave was willing to make me the head of the institute only to become her parabatai I was willing to take it.

Anything to restore the honour to the Lightwood family... That's what mother said to me. I totally ignored my feelings and I did it - and now I regret it. How was I suppose to tell her without her thinking bad about me? Was that even possible? I sighed and got to the decision to not tell her anything. I won't say anything to her. That is the only way for her to not get hurt... Or to leave me... I was selfish enough to lie to her... Because if she would find out... I would lose her forever and I can't live without her. I knew it was not fair to her but I can't bear the thought of losing her.