Shadows | Clalec

Chapter 79

Hello everyone! How is everyone doing? I can't believe that Shadows is working it's way to 100k readers. Like wth? Thank you so much everyone!
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ALEC'S POV

It's been a few weeks since Clary had left us, left me... I cursed her for it. I resented her for a few days but that didn't change the fact that I missed her more than anything. Our parabatai bond was still as strong as they day she had left. I could sense her and that was the only way for me to keep going. The only way of me being sure that she was alright.

Jace had returned back and I knew that this was Clary's doing. Clary was behind all of this and it terrified me. It terrified me because I didn't know what kind of lengths she had to go through to make this possible. To make it possible for Jace to return home safely.

Was our love supposed to be like this? Were we meant to suffer like this? Was this the sad story of our life? No matter how much we loved each other, Clary nor I could be one another. Just because of the dangers that came with it. I didn't care about them. Hell, I would die for her if I had to but Clary didn't see it in that way. She rather kept me safe from everything by leaving me.

I wasn't able to eat for the first few days nor sleep because I didn't know whether Clary was doing this. I didn't knew whether Clary was peacefully sleeping or eating and it didn't made me want to eat too or sleep. I sighed as I stood up from my bed. Another sleepless night.

"Why did you do this to me?" I mumbled underneath my breath and walked to the bathroom.

"How would you have felt if I did that to you?" I asked annoyed as I washed my face. There were black bags underneath my eyes but I didn't care about. The only person that I wanted to look good for was Clary. She wasn't here. Why would I care to look good?

Everyone knew that I was having a hard time. I guess, that was a way for everyone to just back off from me. I couldn't stand anyone to just ask me whether I was okay. Did I look okay? No. Why did people even bother asking such a useless question? I sighed out of annoyance and started brushing my teeth.

After I finally finished brushing my teeth, I stepped into the shower to wash myself. I didn't put the effort it to wash myself for a few days now. To the point that Izzy had to tell me that I stank so I would shower. Did I care? No. Would I have cared if Clary was here? Yes. It would have been embarrassing. After I was done taking a shower, I dried my body and put on the most comfiest clothes. I wasn't thinking of leave the institute anyway.

I was always in, trying to find some clues that could lead me to Clary. I would be busy the entire day and sometimes even fall asleep there. I tried speaking with Jace, to see where Jonathan hid him but it was hard for him to even knew. Most of the time, Jonathan knocked him out while they were on the move or he would be blind sighted.

The frustration was real. I wasn't the only one who was afraid or angry. Jace, Izzy and Magnus were too. Especially Jace, he hated the fact that Clary left the institute, knowing very well who was behind this. Maybe the other day where Jonathan tried getting me killed was one of his other sick games to get Clary to him.

Clary being Clary gave in and did what he wanted to protect us, to protect me. I was supposed to be the one who needed to protect her. Not the other way around. I regretted every time not being together with her or scolding here. Especially in the beginning when we met for the first time. I wished that I took the time getting to know her so I would have more memories with her.

Not like the ones I had now were any less. I loved every single one of them. Every single one of them had a special meaning behind it. I just... I just missed her so much. I missed her smile, her annoying comments while I was training and her adoring me, making me feel more confident and making me want to do more for her.

I lost all of that now. I didn't have her and she didn't have me.

I knew that she was missing me too. I could sense the feeling of her being lost which made me feel even worse, wanting to find her even more. I was desperate. So desperate to be reunited with her again but there was nothing. Literally nothing that could lead me to her.

I have tried talking to Liz but she would never give in. No matter what we did or didn't do. It was as if Liz and Jonathan were connected. Even if Liz wanted to say something, Jonathan would never allow her. It was like... what he did to Clary's mother.

My eyes widened when I realised that Jonathan was among us all these times. Maybe not physically but mentally. I quickly hurried out of my room, messaging Jace and Izzy to meet me down the cells where we locked up Liz.

Liz was connected with Jonathan. Could it be possible that she never intended to side with them or was I thinking to ahead? A part of me wanted that Liz never did what she did but this would give her a perfect excuse to avoid charges... At least for a while until they used the soul sword which would force out the truth of her.

I was heavily breathing as I reached the cell and looked at Liz who was sitting down on the cold, hard pavement. Her eyes were a bit widened and her hair was a bit messy as if she hadn't slept for a few days...

"What is it?" I heard Jace say as he rushed to the cell. I didn't knew how Jace felt about Liz at the moment. I knew that he had a crush on her but everything that came in between. Did his feelings die out for her?

"What if Jonathan is mentally controlling Liz?" I asked and saw Izzy walking towards us too. Jace's face was overwhelmed with confusion as he looked towards Liz's direction.

"Jonathan did that with your mother right. She couldn't do anything than just stand there. She couldn't even warn Clary. What if Jonathan is doing this to Liz too?" I asked and Jace shook his head.

"We can't think like that. We can't trust her. Even if you are right, how are we supposed to know when she is telling us the truth?" Jace asked and I knew that he was right.