Shadows | Clalec

Chapter 71

Helloooo! How is everyone doing? If anyone wants to talk, you can always message me❤️ enjoy this chapter!
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I stood at least ten minutes in front of Alec's room door. I couldn't find the courage to knock on his door and see him. I didn't even know what to say to him. I sighed and turned myself around to my own room door.

"Fuck it..." I said softly as I was trying to open my room door. I heard something thudding in Alec's room and I heard glass shattering on the floor. I turned myself around and confused looked at his room door.

"What the hell is going on there?" I asked confused and softly. I didn't want anyone to hear me talking to myself because I much more creepy could I become?

I opened his room door slightly and gasped when I saw him throwing everything in his room. He grunted and threw something near the door.

"Alec!" I shouted in panic when I saw the item coming towards me. He looked at me with panic in his eyes as if he was horrified.

The item went just a little bit away from me and banged against the side of the wall that was close to his room door. He ran quickly towards me, pulled me and pushed me hard against the door.

I looked at him in shock and that's where I noticed his red, puffy and swollen eyes with desperate tears burning. I looked at him as if I was in pain myself and I was. It was hurting me to see him like this.

"I-I'm sorry." He stuttered and looked at me in panic. He looked down and quickly let go of me. I felt like I could breathe again but I couldn't help but to be confused why Alec was so upset.

"What happened?" I asked as I looked at him. Alec looked at me and he shrugged his shoulders. I looked around in his room and almost nothing was standing up right... He broke all of it.

"Nothing." He said.

"Don't lie to me. I can feel that you are lying to me." I said as I looked at him. Parabatai bond or not, I could still see that there was something wrong and besides that, Alec was sometimes a really bad liar.

Something flickered in his eyes when I told him not to lie to me again. He looked down again and let himself fall on his knees as if he had just lost a battle with someone.

"Alec..." I said softly as I quickly went down so I could see him. Alec was still looking down quietly as if he was to embarrassed to look at me.

"Hey..." I said softly as I held his cheeks with my hand. He looked up slowly and looked at me. I saw the same sparkle in his eyes as I normally would when I touched him.

It was a part of Alec that I knew. That was familiar to me. That was my Alec.

"Tell me..." I said softly and I begged him. I wanted him to speak to me because I was afraid what he was going to do if he didn't.

The guilt was consuming him and I could feel that but also see it. He wasn't handling it well and I didn't wanted him to hurt himself. I guess, I still cared for him. Deep inside my heart, I have always known that I never stopped caring or loving him. I couldn't. That part of me wouldn't let me.

Alec was a part of me and I was a part of him. We wouldn't be able to survive without each other. We wanted to die rather than living without one another.

"I ruined Liz and you." He said so softly that I was barely hearing him. I could hear the pain in his voice. The excruciating was to be heard in his voice and it was hurting me too.

"You didn't." I said as I looked at him. He shook his head as he moved himself slightly away from me. He squeezed his eyes shut and looked down. I couldn't bare seeing him like this.

I regretted everything that I said to him. Every single word and I cursed myself for it. I cursed myself for hurting him like this because he didn't deserve this.

"You don't deserve to feel this way, Alec. It isn't your fault. Liz's fall is not your fault and me acting out like this, isn't your fault." I said as I was trying to convince him. I meant every word that I said to him. I didn't blame him for it.

Alec looked at me with his red and swollen eyes. He shook his head to show me that he didn't agree with what I just said.

"I do deserve it." He said as he exhaled deeply. I could see how much this was hurting him. I shook my head as I looked at him.

I wanted to open my mouth to say something but I couldn't find the words to do so. I felt like whatever I would say, he wouldn't believe me. He was convinced that he was the reason...

I looked at him with pain in my eyes. Every tear that was rolling down his cheeks, I was cursing myself over and over again for putting him through this.

"Alec... you are part human... You are doomed to make mistakes like others. Like me..." I said softly as I looked at him. I held onto his hand softly and I hoped that he was going to listen to every last word that I was about to say.

"You hurt me and I learned from it but I also learned that I can't live without you. I won't be able too because everything of me wants to be with everything of you." I said and I could see that Alec was a bit startled with what I said.

"I love you and I will never stop loving you." I said as I looked at him. Without any hesitation, Alec came closer to me and kissed me. He pressed his soft lips against mine and I could feel my heart jump slightly.

I know that I missed him. I missed everything of him. When our lips were apart, he looked at me as he held my face with his hand.

"I love you. Even when death does us apart." He said as he looked at me and I smiled. A huge part of me was relieved that we were okay...