Shadows | Clalec

Chapter 42

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Luke walked away with my mother and I looked at Alec, who was still uncomfortable by the conversation he had with Luke. His eyes were focused on the ground and he was nervously tapping his right foot softly. When Luke was out of sight he looked up and looked in my way. I gave him a small smile which he returned but his smile disappeared after a second to an angry look.

"I told you not to go alone." He said and I sighed. I already had a argument with Jace about this and I wasn't going to have one again. I looked away and wanted to walk away but Alec stood in front of me so I couldn't move away.

"Answer me." He obeyed me and I looked in anger at him. What does he think? I wasn't his object to be obeyed at. I let out a frustrated groan and clicked my tongue.

"I did go and I am glad I did because I got Jace back." I said annoyed but proudly. Alec let out a laugh which made me even more annoyed than I already was. What was it with these people trying to control on which missions I went?

"You barely made it out alive. Look at you." He said and moved his hand in front of me. I shrugged.

"You have to understand that I am a Shadowhunter and I am just doing my damn job." I said and I walked away. I could hear Alec following me. I sighed and made my way to the garden. Alec held my hand tightly and quickly turned me around, and pulled me. I faced him and could feel his breath onto my skin. His lips were just a bit away from mine. I looked up at him and then again down to his lips.

"You can't scare me like that again. If you are a Shadowhunter or not. You can't do that to me." He said in a low voice. I looked him in his eyes and it was almost as his eyes were begging me to not act out again. I nodded and rested my forehead against his.

No matter how angry we would be at each other or how bad we are for each other, at the end of the day we need each other more than anything. We were bad for each other but than again good at the same time. I knew how he felt... At least I saw it when he thought that I had died. That was a side of Alec that I had never seen in my life and never want to see again. It pained me seeing him in pain, knowing that I was the reason of it. I understood why he was angry because I would have been too...

"I won't." I whispered next to his face. He smiled softly and planted a soft kiss on my nose. I giggled softly and hid my face in his shoulders. I sighed out as all my stress was relieved. I looked at Alec again who had a worried expression on his face.

"Something is bothering you." He said and I shook my head. He glanced at me and I looked away. For a second I forgot that we were parabatai. He could sense what I was feeling which made it almost impossible to lie to him.

"It's just what Jonathan said to me." I said and Alec looked even more worried now than he did before. He waited for me patiently to speak further but I had no idea how to explain him how my big brother made me feel about myself.

"Clary?" Alec asked which made me snap out of my thoughts. I looked at his beautiful sparkling hazel eyes who were asking me to tell him what had happened.

"He said that I have darkness inside me as well and that the good in me is just making me weak..." I said in a low voice. Remembering Jonathan's voice made me feel chills all over my back which made shiver out of fear. I had no idea why his words had such a huge impact on me. What if he was right? What if I did have darkness in me and became just as heartless as him?

"Baby, you are no way near darkness. Everything around you is surrounded with positivity. You are not like him or your father and you never will be. You are you. That's what makes you so special." He said whilst giving me a reassuring smile. I smiled instantly when I heard my nick name that he had for me.

"Thank you." I said more relieved than I was before. He smiled and gave me a soft kiss on my lips. I closed my eyes and enjoyed every single soft, and sweet small kisses that Alec gave me. I stopped the kiss after a few minutes and breathed out. His lips were red and slightly swollen. I smiled and looked at him.

"I have to go and take a shower. I look like a whole mess." I said and Alec laughed softly. He rested his forehead again on mine and smiled.

"Still a mess that I would want to wake up next to every single day." He said which made my heart stop for a second. I shyly smiled and knew that my cheeks were flushing red. How was it possible to love someone so much?

"Are you sure about that?" I asked flirty and bit my underlip softly. Alec's soft smile exchanged with a excited grin and stared at me. He came closer softly and each time he came closer I wanted him to kiss me until I would stop breathing but he didn't do it. He moved himself away from me and laughed.

"Go have a shower." He said and I pouted but gave in. We walked towards the halls where it would lead to our rooms and when we arrived I turned myself around before entering my room.

I smiled at Alec before walking inside my room. I closed the door and took a deep breath. I still felt so uneasy with what Jonathan had told me. I couldn't believe that I stood up against Jonathan. The last time I did I felt like I was dying and the things he told me about our family. Was it true was I weak and did I have darkness inside of me too? I closed my eyes, trying to forget the image of Jonathan. It made me shake thinking that he was underneath me in the cells. I tried remembering what Alec told me but even though I remembered his words it didn't made me feel happier.

I knew that Jonathan couldn't do anything to break out but he was unpredictable. We still were not aware of what kind of powers he has and what kind of weaknesses he has. It made it much harder to defeat him. It made me feel sick. Even though we captured Jonathan, we can't do anything to him. He wins again. He always wins. I was so tired of his games. It was almost like he wanted to be captured. It was out of free will.

I walked towards the bathroom and undressed myself, and walked into the shower. When I saw the blood on my hands it made me feel sick. It was Jace's blood. The way Jonathan had tortured him was horrendous. How could someone be so heartless towards your own sibling? Jace and Jonathan were related too... I couldn't think of any reason why Jonathan would act so human less towards any of us.

I sighed and let the warm water out on my skin. It washed away all the red blood that was on my body and made my shoulders feel less tense than it was before. I breathed out and washed my body before washing the soap off my body. I got out of the shower and dried my body when I heard Jonathan's voice.

"Hello, sister." I heard softly. Fear overwhelmed me and the towel that was around my body to protect my dignity almost fell off. I instantly looked around me but there was no sign of him. I could hear his laugh faintly. I started breathing faster and put my clothes on. With my wet hair I left my room and closed my room door with a bang which caused Alec to come out of his room. He looked at me in confusion, trying to make sense where I was going so angry.

"Clary? Where are you going?" He asked slightly worried. I ignored him and made my ways to the cell. I saw Jonathan chained. He was in no position to even move, let alone escape. His mouth was covered and all I could hear him do was mumbling my name.

"Clary!" Alec shouted but stopped saying anything when he saw me just standing in front of Jonathan's cell. He slowly walked next to me and held my hand. Jonathan eyes flickered to black which made me flinch and gasp. Alec quickly held my hand so I would feel more safe and I did. Jonathan looked at me in amusement and laughed. He always wins...