Shadows | Clalec

Chapter 31

[TYSM FOR THE 9K!! Make sure to follow me on Wattpad! Vote and comment❤️By the 30 votes I will post the next chapter x]

_

Shocked, I looked at Alec when he pulled out of the kiss. I never thought he would kiss me. God, I never even knew he liked me. I thought he hated me. Alec stared at me and it almost looked like he was in some kind of trans. It was scaring me. I mean, why was he staring like he was losing it?

"I euhm..." I stammered and it looked like Alec snapped out of his trans and was now really looking at me. I was waiting for what he was about to say but looking at his stage I think he will be too nervous.

"We euhm... I kissed you." Alec said but it sounded more like he was talking to himself and explaining himself what has just happened. Was he convincing himself or something?

"Yes, you did..." I whispered and I knew that my cheeks were red. The heat in the room was turning up and I had no idea what to say to Alec. This was so awkward.

"I think I should go." He said and stood up. I looked at him and started to think what kind of an asshole he was. I guess you could see my thoughts on my face because he stopped immediately with going away and sat down. It looked like he was scared to go. I did not want him to go. I just wanted to talk about this. I wanted this to be us. To be good. This had to mean something right or was I fooling myself again?

"Why did you kiss me?" I asked him. It just came out of my mouth. I did not even think about it twice. He looked at me and I don't know but it shocked him like it made him realize what he just did. He sighed and sat down. It made me feel anxious as he sighed. Was this a bad sign or something? Was he going to tell me that it meant nothing? My heart started beating rapidly as I was waiting what he was going to say.

"Clary, I am not good. In fact, I never really was good in relationships. I know I like you. I know I do but I am scared that I will ruin it. I am scared that I am going to ruin you... You know me. I just don'-" I did not even let him finish of his sentence and I came closer to him and kissed him.

Alec was always insecure about his emotions. He always thought if he puts his emotion between his work that he will turn out to be a failure which was not true. Nothing of it was true. He was scared that he wouldn't be loved but he was wrong. I did. I always did and it grew inside me even more day by day and right now this made me the happiest shadowhunter alive.

The kiss was this time much longer and much sweeter because I finally knew how he felt about me. It was like the kiss was now meant to be out of love than out of fear of losing each other and it warmed up my heart. Our kiss was out of love. Out of our emotions. It was there because we wanted to. I knew he liked me and it made me want to kiss him more and more.

"Clary..." He whispered as he held with his hands my cheeks. I looked at him and smiled. Was this even real? I was kissing Alec. The one who always annoyed me. The one who hated me in the beginning and the one I hated. We couldn't stand each other and in some crazy way, we fell for each other. He gave me a small smile back.

"We can work it out." I said with full of hope and I hoped I was convincing him to have hope too. I wanted him to try for us than to be afraid of ruining it before even starting it. I did not want him to live in fear. I truly wanted him now even more. I finally knew how he really felt about me and he finally knew how I felt about him. He nodded and gave me a small smile. It reassured me that he felt the same way.

"We will." He said and my heart started beating faster as he spoke out his words. It felt like I could faint all over again but I knew I had to control my feelings because if I would faint again he would be freaking out and I did not want him to. I don't want to ruin this special moment for us. Our moment...

It was hard to realize that we were something to each other. I couldn't believe this. I couldn't. It looked so unreal to me. I was happy. It seemed like all the misunderstandings we had between us was totally gone. It even seemed like this was too good to be true but I knew I shouldn't have negative thoughts otherwise it would actually really happen. Being a shadowhunter has taught me that very well.

"I just need to go to the infirmary to get your medicines but I will be back soon." Alec said and I nodded and gave him a small smile. I expected that Alec would just walk off but he came closer to me and kissed me goodbye. My cheeks flushed red and I saw that Alec noticed it.

"Be careful." He said as he left my room. I smiled and was still trying to process that Alec and I kissed and told each other how we felt. It felt so unreal to me but yet so real. Right after Alec had left my room, I saw my brother Jace walking in with a curious look on his face.

"I just saw Alec leaving the room and he was blushing. That never happens. What happened in here?" He asked me out of curiosity. He was not really asking but demanding an answer back from me.

"He kissed me and told me that he liked me." I said without really thinking how it must feel for a big overprotective brother whose sister was kissing his best friend. I expected Jace to threaten Alec or swear at him but instead of that he sighed out of relief and laughed.

"Finally, that idiot has told you how he feels about you." Jace said and my eyes widened. Did he know all this time that Alec had an eye on me?

"You knew?" I asked out of disbelief and a bit angry. I mean, he saw me crying over him. I truly thought that he did not like me and my own brother knew he did. Why did he let me cry? Why did he not told me?

"I assumed at first when you two had met each other but then again his actions made me think otherwise. When he thought you died he said 'I wished I had told her that I had loved her.' and he cried. So that clarified to me that he is in love with you." Jace said and smiled at me. My heart fluttered when Jace told me that Alec loved me but it hurts my heart to know that he had cried.

I had never seen Alec cry so he must have really thought that I was dead. It snapped something inside him. It broke him and it got him. I really did mean that much to him and I was glad I did because the feelings were mutual.

"Wow." Was the only thing that came out of my mouth. I was not really sure how to express my feelings or what to say. I was confused myself but I knew that I was relieved that Alec and I finally had worked it out.

"Should I give him the 'Be a good boyfriend or I will kill you.' lecture?" Jace asked me and chuckled. I quickly shook my head and laughed.

"Please, no." I said and laughed. He sighed and pretended that he was annoyed but somehow I knew that Jace could trust Alec with me. He knew Alec would take care of me in his own crazy way.

"Clary?" I heard Alec ask and my heart started to beat faster. It was like we had met for the first time. I couldn't breathe knowing that he would be here. That's how much I love him. It felt like he did not even know I liked him and that I was trying to hide it which was unnecessary.

"Hey." I breathed out and looked at Alec. He had medicine in his hand and from the corner of my eyes, I could see that Jace was laughing at us. What a little bitch...

"I got your medicines." He said and I gave him a small smile to show that I appreciated it. Jace was just staring at us. He was amused by how awkward Alec and I were.

"Alec, my brother." I heard Jace say and Alec his eyes were now focused on Jace. I closed my eyes and thought what Jace would say to Alec to embarrass the both of us. I opened my eyes and looked at the both of them. The guy I loved and the guy who was my brother and was being obnoxious.

"I am proud of you and I trust you with my sister. Please do make her happy just like now. I have never seen that precious smile on her face." Jace said and for one second I thought he was about to cry but he quickly recovered and laughed. Alec looked over at me and gave me a small smile- and again looked over at Jace.

"I will. I promise you." Alec said and Jace gave him a hug. Jace gave me a small smile and then walked out of the room. Alec looked at me and I had no idea what to expect next. What were we gonna do? I mean... It is awkward....