˚* ੈ✩‧₊ 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒂𝒃𝒔𝒐𝒍𝒖𝒕𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒔𝒕 ⋆ 𝒇𝒊𝒏

twenty-four

autumn walked home, deep in thought. surely jerry was wrong, there was no way in hell that she could be in love with billy andrews. she couldn't possibly be. he was selfish, annoying, spoiled, and overall horrible. but he's sweet, caring, and genuine. the boy is honest, which is both a good and bad thing. he can't hold his tongue, he's obsessed with how others view him. billy andrews is a people pleaser. he does what is expected of him, whether it be if he is rude or not. perhaps she's in love with the idea, that must be it.

people like billy don't change, people in general don't change. "he's nothing but a foolish school boy. that's it." autumn tells herself, sighing as she approaches her house. sat on the stairs up to her house, she takes off her winter boots. her mother would murder her if she tracked mud into the home. autumn wriggles her toes in her socks, attempting to warm them up from the numbing cold. as she was doing so, the door across the way opened up. the girl looks up, meeting eyes with jane andrews. "jane!" she calls out, waving to the girl who responds the same way. she walks towards the house and engulfs her friend in a hug. "autumn! i've hardly seen you since you spent the night." jane exclaims as the hold each other. autumn nods, smiling as they pull away from the hug. "how have you been? your parents?" she asks the andrews girl. janes face suddenly falls. her eyes become soft, the same as billy's were around her. "i'm okay. my mother's dreadfully sick. the doctors say it's whooping cough." autumn's eyes widen, her mouth drops open. "i-i'm so sorry jane. how is everyone else holding up?" she asks, meaning to specifically ask about billy.

"prissy is the main one taking care of her, but i think billy's the one taking it harder. he's always in mothers room, they talk about anything. i'm not sure what though, billy never lets me in when he's in there. but sometimes i lean my ear against the door as i wait and i can hear him reading to her, or talking about some girl. probably josie, they have a thing you know." she explains, autumn's heart sinking at the last sentence. of course they did. "i'm sorry to hear that. please give your family my regards. we're just across the way if you need any help. janie's a real good cook, she makes the best cookies. she taught me, you know. and my mother's quite well at sewing, and father's one of the best doctors in the area. i'm afraid i can't really contribute much besides cookies." autumn shrugs, placing a hand on her friends shoulder. suddenly, jane lights up with excitement. her eyes are bright and a wide smile forms on her face. "autumn! that's it!" she begins, "my mother loves art, perhaps you could make her a painting? you're absolutely wonderful at it." she begs, holding autumn's cold hands in hers. the winters girl is hesitant, but soon sighs and nods. this sends jane into a flurry of happiness. once again, autumn is embraced in a hug as jane jumps up and down, thanking her.

as jane's arms were wrapped around autumn, she was able to get a slight glimpse up to billy's room. there he stood, watching the girls with a sad look in his eyes. they make eye contact, but billy breaks it as soon as it happens. he walks away from the window and out of his room. autumn sighs, letting go of her friend. "no worries, i'll go start it now. have a beautiful evening, jane." she says before walking inside.

///

billy was sat beside his mother's bed in silence. "billy, dear, how are you?" his mother asks, a small cough at the end. billy gives her a small smile, grabbing her frail hand in his. "i'm doing fine, mother. i saw jane talking to autumn winters, i believe she mentioned having her paint something for you." he smiles, remembering the girl and her passion. mrs. andrews goes into a coughing fit before she's able to say anything, but smiles through it. "oh, billy. that would be wonderful. i do love a good painting." she says quietly, billy nodding. his mother had always had an eye for that sort of stuff, a quality he sadly didn't inherit. he looks at his mother. mrs. andrews' skin was pale, her lips were chapped. her bony hands shook with each cough. "mother, i did something bad." he whispers, hoping no one would hear him. the woman looked at her son, concern in her eyes. "what could you have done, my son?" she asks, concern written all over her face.

billy opens his mouth but closes it again.

he thinks back to that night, and the day that it had followed. he recalls his emotions, his thoughts. billy thought that she wanted him to kiss her, he was looking at all the signs. but when she pulled away, he was completely and utterly confused. all the signs were there, or was he mistaken? was her body language not what he had thought? or was it how she approached him? whatever it was, he did not mean what he said. autumn winters meant the world to him, no matter what he said. he was lucky to have her in his life.

"i was mean." he says, sorrow in his eyes. "i know, billy. and that's your father and i's fault, you know that." she responds, sighing as she rests her head back. "no, no, no." he says, "that's not it. i was mean to her." mrs. andrews lets out a sad sigh and shakes her head. she was ready to tell him what he could do, as she could tell that that is what he was asking for.

"billy, it doesn't matter as much that you were unkind. what matters is what you do about it. think about why you were mean, what you said to hurt her. then think about the girl. think about how she might be feeling in her position. how heartbroken she must be, how hurt she was by your words. how did she react?"

billy thought long and hard, trying to remember any pieces he could during his wave of fury at autumn. he thought of the last thing she said to him, a lump forms in his throat. he couldn't dare say it out loud, for he knew it true. how could he have caused her to say that? how could he hurt her so badly? why did he blame her for his anger? why couldn't he be more understanding? mrs. andrews clears her throat, a thing she would constantly do nowadays.

"she hates me, mother. she hates me."

"oh, don't be so daft. did she specifically say she did?"

"no, no, no. i just know. she told me that i'm the absolute worst, and i hate that. i hate that i hurt her so much she felt that she had to say those three words. why am i like this, mom? why do i hurt everyone around me?"

"that's up to you to find out, darling. only you know."