˚* ੈ✩‧₊ 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒂𝒃𝒔𝒐𝒍𝒖𝒕𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒔𝒕 ⋆ 𝒇𝒊𝒏

twenty-five

autumn was up past midnight working on her art piece for mrs. andrews. she had finally stepped back and away from the canvas when she noticed the blonde boy sitting out on his porch. quickly, she moved behind her curtain so she would not be seen. the girl slightly peeked her eye out from behind the cloth to watch him. billy andrews sat on his porch silently. it was obvious the boy was emotional, tears had stained his cheeks and more were falling each couple of seconds. he did not weep, however. he was not trying to hold them back, there were no noises escaping his mouth. he sat there, staring at nothing, and let them fall.

billy was dressed in lounge clothes. a light grey wool knit sweater, similar to gilbert's, and a pair of pants. the moonlight shined on him perfectly, illuminating each light hair on his head. autumn watched as he buried his head in his hands, itching his eyes before sighing and looking around. he looked up to her bedroom, noticing the light. he squints his eyes, searching for the artist. but she hid behind her curtain once again. then, billy looks away and down onto the dirt path before quickly getting up and walking down it. autumn watched as he walked away, and in a panic she threw on a random sweater and shoes and ran after him. she tried her best to keep quiet as she roamed around the house, but let go of the silence as she reached the front door. the girl sprinted after billy, each breath heaving with cold air.

she stopped. her heart and side hurt, the cold air burned her throat and lungs. billy was in view, but still a while away. determined, the girl continued chasing the boy. "billy!" she called out, the boy turning around as he heard his name. immediately seeing the girl, he stops and turns around with his arms folded. autumn continued to run towards him until he was only a couple feet away. there he was. he looked as good as always, but this time he was different. no longer was he the goofy, deer-eyed boy with a smile plastered on his face. now, he watched her with sad eyes, his eyes red and puffy. his cheeks were chubbier, and his lips were straight and sad. "are you okay?" she asks, approaching the boy. he nods. "i know you're lying, billy. what's wrong?" autumn asks once again, stepping closer to the boy. with each step towards him, billy steps back. "i'm fine, winters. now leave me alone." he growls, anger in his eyes. autumn stops. he hardly ever called her by her last name anymore.

her face falls, some sort of headache forming. still, billy wouldn't look at her. "what did i do to you, billy? huh? why have you just up and decided to be so horrid towards me. i'm sorry i wouldn't kiss you back, okay? but you have to understand that i just wasn't ready." she yells as billy turns to walk away. he froze, not facing the girl. "i'm sorry i was assaulted, alright? so maybe you could act decent and have some sort of sympathy. must you always be such a... boy?" billy heats up, turning around quickly and storming towards the girl. "what's that supposed to mean, winters?" he says, "what does it mean to be a boy?" the two were staring at one another, inches apart once again. autumn's eyes were sharp, her brows furrowed. "all you care about is your reputation, billy andrews. you only care if you or your friends are popular. you don't care who gets hurt along the way. that's how every single boy i've met is, besides cole and gilbert." she yells in his face, whipping her head around and pointing towards the direction of gilbert's house as she spoke of him. this angered billy, the fact that she thought better of him. but she had a point, he knew she did. he let his ego get in the way of something beautiful. "you know what? you're right, autumn. all i care about is myself. that's why i fucking fought jeffrey for laying a finger on you. that's why i walked away from josie during spin the bottle when it landed on me. because i only care about myself, right?" he says, raising his voice. autumn's face falls from anger as she remembered each and every event he had showed he cared for her. "okay, then tell me why you're such a jerk to me, huh? tell me why your friends don't know about how you feel about me? are you scared, billy? scared that they'll judge you for actually caring about someone?"

billy chokes. "you don't understand." he says, the well-known lump forming in his throat. he attempts to swallow it but the hard lump persists. autumn's ears heat up despite the cold, angry as she realizes what is wrong with him. "don't you say that, billy. i understand. i understand a great deal." she begins. "you're rude. you're rude because that's all you know, a-and you make jokes because you're afraid to take anything seriously. because if you take things seriously, they matter." billy looks down at his feet, tears beginning to fall down his face. "so if that's the case, and i don't matter, then i wish you a wonderful life billy. i hope you get everything you want out of it. and i'm sorry, but i don't want to be there to witness it."