Personal Chef

Chapter 44

Shawn and I stared at each other, obviously at an impasse. I wasn't totally sure what I was supposed to do now. Packing up and moving out seemed the logical choice considering we'd pretty much broken up. My parents' house was on the market. I could go there, but I'd need a place of my own very soon if it sold.

I left the living room and went to the bedroom, closing the door behind me.

Don't break down! I told myself. There'd be plenty of time for hysterics after I was gone.

I had two large suitcases at the bottom of my side of the closet which I grabbed and set on the bed. I took off Shawn's hoodie and changed into a shirt of my own. As quickly as I could, I started pulling my clothing off hangers and out of drawers and putting them in the open compartments. In ten minutes time, both suitcases were full. I still had more clothing, plus I had all of my things in the bathroom. I could always come back later while he was in California. I made room for the toiletries I'd need in the meantime and zipped up both pieces of luggage.

Do not cry!

I opened the door before taking a suitcase in each hand. I had to turn slightly sideways to get out of the door, and the suitcase in front of me banged against my shin. I felt tears well up in my eyes and I wasn't sure if it was from the pain or the situation I was in.

I walked towards the living area. As soon as Shawn saw me he jumped up.

"Chels...what are you doing?"

It was clear what I was doing, and the rhetorical question wasn't one I wanted to answer, but I had to.

"I'm leaving," I said as I rounded the corner at the kitchen so that I could get to the front door.

I could feel a tear drop on my cheek.

He moved in front of me, blocking my path.

"Don't! You don't have to leave. We're not done talking. Please, baby. Sit back down with me," he pleaded.

"Are you moving to Los Angeles?" I asked him, since it was now my turn to ask a rhetorical question.

"Yes. I have to. You understand that, don't you?"

"I do. And I knew the second I saw that Kat was pregnant that this was going to happen, because you're the most generous and thoughtful person in the world. There's no way you wouldn't be there for someone pregnant with your child, and once the baby arrives, you will dedicate your life to him. It's who you are and it's why I fell in love with you."

"We can try to make this work," he said quietly.

I set my suitcases down and took a step towards him. I reached up and cupped his perfect jaw with my right hand.

"My love for you is too consuming to only see you on random weekends here and there. When your baby is born, we'll see less and less of each other. I'd rather make a clean break than lose you slowly over the next four to five months."

Tears started to form in his eyes and I wiped them away as they started to spill down his cheeks.

"I love you so much, Chelsea. I'm sorry."

I stepped closer and he wrapped his arms around me. When he was holding me, I felt safe and loved and happy. I wanted to stay in his embrace forever, frozen for eternity in that moment.

He bent his head forward and moved his mouth near my ear.

"Stay. I'm asking you for one last day and night together. Please," he said, his warm breath causing a shiver to move down my spine.

"Okay," I told him pulling back so I could look at him, "but I want it to be the day we didn't have yesterday. I want to stay in all day and just be together. I'll order groceries to make us a delicious dinner."