Personal Chef

Chapter 51

Neither of us spoke on the short walk to my apartment. As we started to ascend the stairs to the fourth floor, Shawn took my hand in his and gave it a squeeze. At my door, I fumbled with the lock because I was both nervous and excited.

I couldn't explain why I'd invited him home with me. I just knew that I wanted him and that he wanted me. I was trying so hard to get over the break-up, but it wasn't happening with him here in Toronto. What harm could one more night together do?

"Chels, relax," he whispered in my ear. "It's just me."

Just him? Did he not understand that the fact that it was him was what had me on edge? He was the man I loved. He'd been my everything during our time together.

Once we got inside, Shawn looked around.

"This is a great place. Very homey," he commented.

"I like it and it is very convenient to the restaurant."

It went unsaid that it was nothing like his condo, a beautiful home we'd once shared.

I took his coat and hung it up next to mine on the large hooks by the door.

Shawn's eyes raked over me before meeting mine. My breath caught at the look of desire that burned in his brown orbs.

"I think about you constantly," he said as he took a step towards me. "I love you so much."

I was afraid to say the words back to him. It was one thing for us to have sex, but reaffirming our mutual love was so much more significant. I'd be back to square one with my heartbreak if I took that leap.

Instead of speaking, I closed the gap between us and lifted my hands to his cheeks. I then slid them around to the back of his head and ran them through his beautiful chestnut curls. I'd missed touching his hair, and every time I saw pictures of him online I imagined the feeling.

Shawn leaned forward and brushed his lips across mine. Being this close to him meant I could smell his cologne and hair products. This intense olfactory sensation took me back to a happier time. I closed my eyes and breathed him in, remembering.

Our kiss deepened and our bodies met. I knew I'd never fit together this way with anyone else. Shawn and I were like puzzle pieces, cut to only match up with each other.

I opened my mouth slightly and moaned as his tongue ran along my bottom lip, because I knew what his tongue would do to me soon.

We stood there kissing for a long time. His hands roamed my body, but I kept mine in his hair. I could feel his arousal pressed against my hip which was causing an equivalent reaction in me.

I felt Shawn's fingers on the zipper of my dress. He pulled away and looked at me, wordlessly asking for consent. I nodded.

He slowly pulled the zipper down and then hooked his thumbs on the straps of my dress before easing them off my shoulders. It fell to the floor, and I was left in my black lace bra and panties. When I'd put them on early that day, I'd never considered that someone might see them. These days I wore my lingerie for me so that I'd feel pretty.

"You're so gorgeous, baby," he said, his voice raspy.

I slowly undid the buttons on his white shirt. Given that I had to get up in a few hours, I probably should have moved faster, but I was savoring each moment. When his shirt was off, I refamiliarized myself with his chest and stomach as I let my fingertips graze over his toned body.

"You're killing me," he moaned before he removed my bra.

It had been a long time for us to go without fucking given how much sex we had when we were together. I knew his frustration level was high, but I didn't want this to be over too quickly.