Personal Chef

Chapter 46

I stared at his texts.

He'd been gone for almost three weeks and not a second passed that I didn't miss him. Sometimes I missed him so much that I felt physical pain in my muscles and bones.

We'd had no contact since our last night together. He'd left early that morning, leaving me a note on the counter. I wasn't mad at home for disappearing like that; watching him go would have destroyed me.

Chels-

I'm sorry that I am too much of a coward to say goodbye. I woke up and saw you laying next to me and knew that if I'd woken you, I might never leave. I have to be there for Kat and my baby. I know you understand this and I love you for that. I love you for so many things. I'd make a list but it might kill me.

I'm not giving up on us. I know that right now we need to be apart while I focus on fatherhood and you pursue your dream. One day we will find our way back to each other. I'm sorry that I'm hurting you in the meantime.

Stay in the condo as long as you want. It's your home as much as it's mine.

I love you.

Always,

S

After reading the note and crying for an hour, I'd texted him that I was moving out and asked him to give me space. I needed a clean break.

But I didn't feel like I needed that break right now. Shawn was in Toronto. It was my birthday (okay not technically since it was after midnight, but whatever), I was drunk, and I wanted to see him. Badly.

What was the worst thing that could happen? We fight? We never really fought until the very end, so that scenario seemed unlikely. We could wind up in bed. Would I be that much worse off? I was miserable now. I'd still be miserable, but at least I'd see him and have hot sex.

The thought of sex with Shawn made me feel tingly. I texted him.

Me: Are you still awake?

I waited for a response and felt increasing disappointment with each passing second that one didn't arrive.

Finally I saw the three dots.

Shawn🥓: hi honey

Shawn🥓: I'm up

Honey. Jesus. Did he know what that did to me? I loved it, but it also hurt.

Me: Please don't honey me.

Me: We broke up.

Shawn🥓: sorry

Shawn🥓: I'm a little drunk

Me: Me, too.

Shawn🥓: can I see you tomorrow?

Tomorrow?

Me: Tonight?

Shawn🥓: we're both drunk

Shawn🥓: bad idea

Ugh. I hated his stupid elevated sense of integrity! I knew he was right, though. We'd have regrets if we hooked up drunk.

Me: I'll be at the bistro all day.

Shawn🥓: perfect

Shawn🥓: see you there