I Love You, Jerk Face

Chapter 21

In the wee hours of the morning I became aware of the fact that I was now alone in bed. I opened my eyes trying to find Grady, but he was gone along with Hughbert. I got up and moved over to the window, it was still dark outside, but the moon was fast disappearing from the sky. I found Grady exactly where I thought I would, he was sitting at the end of the dock, I pressed my forehead against the cool glass and sighed.

Poor Grady, I thought as I left the room. It must have been so hard for him to walk back through those doors after so long. I slid open the back door and the cool morning air made me aware that I was only wearing one of Ryder's shirts, I sighed at myself, but I was not about to turn around just to change. Grady needed me.

I sat down next to him on the dock, not saying anything as I let my feet hand over the side, so close to the water. Hughbert was sitting in his lap as he stared out over the water. I let my hand cover his as I leaned back to watch the moon dipping down.

"This was her favorite place," he said quietly.

"I know," I said back, not looking at him.

"She used to get so excited every summer when it was time for us to come stay up here," his voice was so sad it made me hurt, "if we didn't have to live so close to that hospital I think she would have moved us out here."

"She wanted to," I said smiling. "She used to talk about moving out here when her cancer went into remission."

"I know," he smiled, "I can still remember the way her face lit up that last time we came out here."

"Me too," I whispered. "I also remember that your dad had to talk her out of diving into the lake with all her clothes still on."

He laughed softly, "When she took off running towards the dock that day I thought for sure it meant she was getting better, but when dad stopped her and had to carry her back in the house I knew she wasn't," his smile fell and I turned to look at him. He was watching the moon, his eyes glassy.

"I miss her all the time," his voice broke a little and I squeezed his hand in mine.

"Me too," I leaned into his side and his arm went around my shoulders.

"She loved you," I felt him look down at me, "you know. She used to tell me all the time that she wished I would stop being an ass," I looked up at him, his blue eyes were dancing at the memory, "and just ask you out, so she could have grandchildren," I laughed at that. "She was convinced that you were the only girl who was good enough for me," his voice got quite again.

I turned away from him then. "She used to encourage me to beat you," I smiled out at the water, "said that I could beat you into submission," he laughed.

"Is that what you have been trying to do all these years?"

"No," I looked up at him, "you were to hard to tame," I teased, he just smiled.

"She said the same thing," his dimples started to show, "but she always said you were the one to do it."

"She was crazy," I laughed nervously. "I used to think she was the only one who understood me," I looked back at the water and fought tears.

"Do you remember the time she came over and you were crying in the kitchen?"

I pressed my face into his chest, "Yes," I laughed.

"You had to make cookies for your class and your mom had helped you," his chest rumbled against my face, "she burnt half of them and the other half tasted like cardboard."

"Please do not remind me!" I laughed. "I remember," I pulled away suddenly, "that she swept into that kitchen, shooed my mother away, told me to shut up my crying, and then she taught me to make chocolate chip cookies," he was smiling at me again. "She told me that a great chocolate chip cookie could make anything better."