The Rivalry (Lost Memories)

Kabanata 19

Chance

My heart is beating harshly while my breathing is on hitch. The zero possibility became full, slapping me in front of my face like thunder of Zeus.

The last page says it all. Loud and clear.

How many times will I be cornered like this?

Is it faith?

Destiny?

Human doing?

Kahit alin man sa mga nabanggit o hindi man nasabi ang paulit-ulit na pagtatagpo sa mundong napakagulo ay hindi biro. Ilang ulit ba ako dadalhin ng tadhana sa harapan ng lalaking ilang beses ko ng tinakbuhan. Para akong tumatakbo ng paikot, na ang starting at finish line ay pareho lamang. Running endlessly.. Now I am doomed.

How ironic. I've been running away and for the 3rd time in the history, our two worlds bumped again. Pero bakit sa bawat pagbungo ng aming mundo, yung akin lagi ang nasisira at nawawarak. Iyong mundo ko ang nawawalan ng balanse kung hindi lamang sa anak ko ay baka nagpalamon na ako sa madilim na kalawakan.

Kailan ko ba masasabing pagod na ako tumakbo?

Bakit ko ba tinatakasan ang tanong nanakit saakin ngunit siya ring nagbigay ng pinakamagandang alaala at regalo.

Ngumisi ako ng may mapagtanto. Hindi na nga pala ang lalakeng nasa harap ko ang buhay ko. Ang buhay ko ay nasa Davao ngayon. Nasa kamay ng munting nilalang na yumapos sa aking sirang pananaw sa buhay.

Yes, my son was a complete flesh and blood of this strange man but rest assured that they will grow in different path.

Hey, Andreius Axel. What are you doing, my son? Are you playing with Dada? Baking with Mama? Are you out at the beach? Or staying home? You know what, son.. I have confession to make and I know you will be happy to hear it..

Your daddy is here.

I am tracing his signature at the moment. He has nice penmanship, like calligraphy well practiced.

Ano kayang magiging reaksyon niya kapag nalaman niyang you exist? I wonder how he will feel? Will he adore you like I do? Will he caress you the way I do?

Tumunghay ako at palihim na sumulyap sa lalakeng katapat ko ng upuan. Mabilisang tingin at baling agad sa harapan ang ginawa ko. Nahagip ko ang mukha niya, he never aged does he. I swallowed hard and bitter taste started swinging on my taste bud.

Confirmed, anak. He is here right in front of me. You wanna know if you look like him? Hmm. Yes, anak. You are his minime. Is he a nice person? Yes, he is. Is he successful? Absolutely a very successful one and he is your Mommy's boss right now.

How cruel life is? Pinagdasal ko ito, na makita ko siya pero hindi ganito kabilis. Hindi man lamang ako naabisuhan para sana nakapaghanda pa ako. Mas grabe pa ito sa surprise quiz.

Sa loob ng isang oras na tinakbo ng meeting. Nanonood lamang ito, o kaya naman may binabasa, o may sinusulat pero ni minsan hindi siya nagtapon ng tingin saakin. Umiiwas man o hindi, ang katotohanang iyon ay medyo nakakainis.

"Let's go." Yaya saakin ni Marco ng matapos na ang meeting.

Inabot niya ang kamay niya saakin habang nakatayo na siya sa harapan ko at handa na lumarga. Nakatitig lamang ako doon, hindi alam kung aabutin ko o tatayo na lamang ako mag-isa. Why am I hesitating? It is not the first time he do this in front of many.

He raised his brows. He smirked but tried to reach my hand.

I know.. I need to escape. And I need his help.