Apprehensive Love ¤ Finnick Odair

seventeen; memories

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN, MEMORIES

As Ella White sat there, numb to the world she had become used to, her new future, she had no hope of ever returning to her brother or to her love, she had become helpless, no aim to survive and wishing every time she slept, that she wouldn't wake the next morning. All the pain she had induced throughout her life and this is how it would end, with a torturous man controlling what would happen to her. Joanna and Peeta had realized that there was no changing her state, she had already accepted her fate, deciding to stay mute for the rest of what her life could be.

Ella was again seated on her bed, eyes lined with tears as she brought her knees up to her chest, her trying to block out the echoing screams of Peeta who had been with the Peacekeepers the longest he had ever been, it having to be for Katniss' provocative response. She tried to shut it out, squeezing her eyes shut, previously glancing at Joanna who was emotionlessly staring off into pace.

Her mind seemed to be the only thing working, taking her in and out of memories with her family and with Finnick, ones she cherished all her life, some just leaving her at peace. 

Ella Rose White was a girl with many dreams, dreams to be one of a kind, brave and strong and to stand up for the wrongs of the country, of Panem. At just seventeen years of age, she had decided that all she wanted was to give her parents pride and wealth, despite disagreeing with the ways, she wanted them to live a lavish life, one they had never lived. 

So as she prepped for another reaping, a big part of her didn't want to show up, to just get up and descend into the ocean, a place she had always found serenity in. As she tied her hair into a bun on the back of her head, slightly lower. She briefly glanced at herself in the old mirror, her beautiful mother walking up from behind her, looking at her through the mirror with a warm smile on her wrinkled face. 

"You look beautiful, sweetheart." Paige White declared, staring at her daughter in complete and utter awe. She grabbed a few pins from the table and started to put it in Ella's hair, giving it a neater texture. 

Ella smiled halfheartedly, her fingers tangling in each other, full of nerves. "I'm scared." 

"You're scared every time." her mother retorts. 

"No, this time is different, I genuinely feel scared, mom, what if this time, I get picked." Ella confessed, turning around to face her mother, eyes watered. 

Paige White sighed, grabbing a hold of Ella's slightly warm hands, she gave them both light kisses. "Then I'll have all the faith of the world in you because either way you will always make me proud."

That same day, Ella's name had rung through the silent air, the breathe had been knocked out of her lungs, suddenly feeling a rush of a lightheaded daze, she almost fell back, eyes blurring, going in and out of vision as all eyes were suddenly on her, one girl even pushing her forward as she took small and timid steps towards the stage, where previous victors stood, consisting of Finnick Odair who was the same age as her, his panicked and wide eyes met her's. 

With a few quick and rapid minutes, the male for the games had been chosen and Ella was taken to a small room where she was allowed small moment's to speak to her family. 

Her brother had come in, along with her dad but her mother had come in alone. Paige was crying, her eyes, cheeks and nose were a light red as she embraced her only daughter in a tight hug, not wanting to let go but doing so a few seconds later, holding her daughters distraught face in her warm hands, tucking her hair behind her ear. 

"Listen to me, I believe in you, I believe in your strength and I know you can do it because you have always made me the proudest women in this district." Paige had spoken through tears as Ella did the same, sobbing in her mother's presence. 

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." Ella cried, her mother kissing her on the forehead.

"Stop saying that, we all know you have nothing to do with this, okay? Now, chin up, because you are strong." Her mother instructed. 

"If I don't make it, mom, all I want to say is that I love you and you have given me more than this world could ever offer." 

"I love you more than words could express, my sweet."

That just so happened to be the last time she had seen her mother, the women who had raised, been her best friends when other girls would make fun of her and although they never had the most lavish life but it had been filled with beautiful memories, ones she would never forget like how her mother taught her how to braid her hair and how her father had taught her how to swim the furthest into the ocean and she had always loved them for it. 

That was when an undying hatred for President Snow had started, a passionate livid feeling had been portrayed for him since then, she had blamed him for everything as he was the one responsible for it. 

It killed her, every second she would see his face, a small part of her soul would fade because she promised herself that she would kill him for what he had done, for taking away her everything and giving her nothing but pain and wishing death and for that she would never give him mercy. As Ella found herself crying at the memories, she wanted nothing more to just disappear and go somewhere love existed.

Ella missed her dead parents more than anything and because she was used to not seeing them, she began missing the living ones, missing Logan and Finnick so much as she felt her life was coming to an end soon.

Finnick and Ella sat on the sand, the waves crashing towards them, the sound being so peaceful, that Ella almost dozed off, her head on Finnicks shoulder as he kissed her head.

"I miss them." Ella stated, her ocean blue eyes staring at the sea.

"They're so proud of you, Elle." Finnick responded, looking at her as she raised her head, eyes teared up.

"They can't be, this is my whole fault." Ella stated, putting her face on her hands.

"Ella, Snow being an evil person is not your fault. You stood up for the right thing and your parents will forever be proud of you for that." Finnick told her, staring deep into her eyes as her expression turned stone cold.

"I hope he suffers the way he made us suffer."

"I do to."

"They died in pain, Fin." Ella cried, the anger dropping and sadness pouring over her. "I will never be able to make that better."

"It can't be easy to get over it and I'm not going to tell you it will but I will be with you every moment. I promise."

"Why?"

"Because I love you and I always will."

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AN://
Hope you guys enjoyed and I'm so sorry for the late update but I just got back from vacation so here it is. I'm sorry for delaying the reunion which I know you've been waiting for so long for it but it's so that I can make part two a little longer lol.