Killer Kandy

Reality Check pt. 2

Not gonna lie, my diet has changed quite a bit over the past few months, and hasn't been vegan consistently for at least I wanna say since like last year November.

And even today, I've eaten pretty terribly. Having only eaten queso dip and chips during the whole day, it's been real rough. However, I've told myself that in order for me to be able to update and stay on my game, I need to be eating to fuel my body. So beginning at 2:09pm this day, I decided to go full on health-mode and eat raw vegan like 95% of the time.

The 5% of other my diet issa be the hot tea I'll be sipping on... 'cuz your girl love a good hot piping cup of tea on the daily. But really, not kidding I love tea. Especially spicy, autumn-kinda teas.

I want to plan this out a bit better than I have in past, as I've always just planned, planned, and planned but have never actually pulled through with my commitments to myself. So this time, I'm gonna make sure to keep myself accountable, and on social media account.

But currently, I'm in a Panera with 2 of my other friends, and I'm just listening to music and typing this bad boy out. And for once, in a long time, I'm pretty content just being myself. And it feels nice. Which is nice, that even though I'm concerned about my health, I'm not being too nit-picky about what I'm eating. In the past, which I mean like over the past 4 years, I've gone through phases of being so damn obsessed with what I've been eating, gotten so stressed that I just said, fuck it, to myself, then hated myself so much afterwards. So this time, I'm going in with the approach of caring, but not going to kill myself over the fact of having a bad eating day.

Because almost everyone experiences it once and a while.

So I shouldn't treat it too deeply.

So though I'm going to be more mindful of what I eat, if I happen to experience (which I know I will in the future) a real, just depressing day, and eat total shit, I'm not going to hate myself for it. There are way worse things to worry about in the world, and how I eat I know I can change.

Regarding diet, I'm probably for the next few days gonna be eating quite a bit of fat than I normally would, just to replace what I'm not gonna be eating anymore. Hopefully, that'll be avoided, but I'm just gonna put that out there that it might happen, based on what's happened in the past times that I've tried to do this.

But once I get into a set routine, I'm planning on eating smoothies and salads for the time being,and when I have enough confidence and time to branch out, I'll experiment a bit more with what I eat. But, I know for a fact that smoothies and salads are gonna be the base of my diet for a while, because I can have so much versatility with what I put into these meals. You can literally throw any fruit in a smoothie, and any vegetable into a salad, and it'll 80% of the time taste amazing.

Not to mention, I can ensure that I'm getting enough protein into my diet because I can add protein powder into my smoothies and make sure I get in at least like 30g. daily.

Where I am, I don't really wanna buy anything at Panera, so I'm gonna wait until I get home and then have a chocolate smoothie, finish up some homework, then watch some k-dramas. That's probably what's gonna happen when I get home, not gonna even lie.

With my workout routine, I'll tell you right now, I'm not going to workout when I get home from this little get-together, But starting tomorrow, I'm going to workout for at least 1 hour a day. Reminding myself, that this is for my health, and also for looking good, I need to do like before every workout for probably the next week or so until I fall into a daily schedule. Workouts will mostly consist of HIIT online workouts at home, and running on the treadmill and bodyweight exercises at the gym. I don't really have the time or interest in getting totally involved into a whole new sport commitment like swimming at the moment, so for the time being this is going to have to suffice for a workout routine.

When warming weather comes, I'll look to try starting running outside and doing more outdoor exercising. But I'll worry about that when the seasons start changing.

Anyway, thanks for putting up with this rambling on and on with me, and reading about what I have planned in the future with eating and exercising.

Live life with no regrets.

Love,

Haha. I love fooling myself. Right after I got home, I swear I didn't even take off my jacket yet, I went straight into the fridge and heated up the leftover queso dip, and it went downhill from there.

I'm not going into detail, because it was a war zone in the kitchen once I was done bingeing out. Was cheesy noodles were wolfed down, and pizza was ravaged through is what I can say the least.

I told you guys, I'm gonna be utterly honest from now on with you. And because I want you to know how I go through this process, without help from a trained professional, and without guidance from friends around me. I want me this to me and you, together. Because I know you want to make changes, and do better in your life, or else you wouldn't set these goals of weight loss and getting healthier in the first place.

It's just hard.

Like everything in life, it require an immense amount of sacrifice, time, and effort. And even though we want to make changes, instinct just kicks in and you want to eat. Now. ASAP.

And I guess that's just how it was when I got home. So another thing I'm going to work on developing is a better sense of self control and patience. Because I think I end up in situations like this because I feel the need to do things immediately, without second thoughts.

So catch a sister working on things in life in general.

Also, before I forget, I'm promising myself to stop drinking beverages other than water... it's been so bad. Lately I've been on this kick of drinking zero calorie sodas, and I never thought I'd be a person that would drink like 3-4 in a day, but it happened unfortunately. So this whole thing is gonna be a physically and mental rebooting for me, which I know is gonna be real hard the first few weeks, and I know Imma be cranky and moody during updates of this due to adapting, but it's all for the better good of my health, ya know?

Lastly, I'm gonna call it quits for the night on this long-ass update, and say goodnight my loves, wishing you all the best on your goals of becoming more confident, and satisfied with who you are inside and out. Be honest with yourself,

Big kisses, for real this time tho,