Killer Kandy

In Conclusion

Hello, it's me. 

Finally finishing this mess of a chronology of my health, or I should say wellness journey. It has been a long-winded and winding road for all who have stuck with this journal. But I'm happy to say that I've decided to end this sappy, unoriginal case of a young girl with self-esteem issues wishing others could resolve her problems. 

I've found over the course of these past few years, I've found a few helpful things: 

1) veganism is possible. If you aren't extreme about it like my past self. I was making unattainable goals for myself at the time and still do, but now I try to catch myself before placing these impossible tasks on my plate without a well-thought out plan of action. I'll be real, I'm not super healthy, but I'm not super unhealthy. I overeat sometimes, and most of the time eat too late. However, I listen a bit more to my body and its needs. 

Thirsty? Drink water. Drink tea. Try not to drink coffee, even though you want to. 

Hungry? Eat a banana with peanut butter or something easy like frozen peas and corn you can pop into the microwave. 

Eating healthy is easy if you make it easy for yourself in the first place. For so long, I blamed everyone but myself for the reason why I couldn't effectively lose weight, but to be honest, now that I have, I don't really feel all that different. I went from around 140lbs. to I'm currently fluctuating between 125-128lbs. which I'll admit, is great for my health and all, but I don't feel all that different physically. 

Mentally, I'm in a much better place. I'm more happy, still tired, but like who isn't tired. I'm a full-time college student, so I think it's a given that I'd be tired, even on my breaks. 

Anyways, back to the list.

2) Movement is great, but rest if you need/want to. 

For the past 3-4 years, since I began high school, I though being active was the most important thing. Getting in good sweat is great and all, but in college I worked out little to none. I had that spurt of like 3 good weeks at the beginning of the semester, getting in regular cardio and some strength exercises, then it ended and I hit the hay as much as I could. But I still happened to drop like 15lbs. over the course of 3-4 months. 

And I think that that weight loss was still possible because I rested my body (tons on the weekends... I would sleep like 12-14hrs. on weekends), and ate relatively healthy compared to other college students -- eating no meat, and no dairy. Granted, I did add coffee into my routine, having usually 2 cups a day, 3 on a really bad one. So I mean, rest and healthy eating were most important from my experience. 

3) Consistency is awesome, but life is life. 

I'd like to think I was a pretty good student, only missing like four 8am classes and one afternoon one simply because I had to miss it. And I had a pretty set schedule, nothing changed. I went to class, studied, got caffeinated, ate, did more studying, then slept. And that was my life. Which don't get me wrong, is hella sad, and uneventful, but got me on Dean's List and got me some happy-ass parents.

Coming back from school was challenging. I'm not going to lie. Went I came back home for a week, I was high-key scared out of my wits, because I was so scared that I would revert back to old binging habits, since this was the place they began. But thankfully, I had one binge episode and that was it. Afterward, I was so sick the next day, I didn't do it again. And same thing when I came back for semester break, had a binge attack one day, and didn't do it till this point of time. 

So, pretty much what I'm trying to say is maintain what you had when you had a set schedule at some point in your life. Where there's a routine. Then there's a set time to eat, work, and rest. That's where you'll see the best results.

That being said, life has a way of f*cking the best of us over, so do the best you possibly can, and if the schedule is thrown off, like it is during the holiday season, just listen to your body, and follow your instincts in what type of healthy choices you should make the best out of a slightly askew situation. 

And that's the end of my advice. I'm done. Finished. You have completed my terrible diary of eating habits and mental thoughts on this rocky road. 

And, just some food for thought, even after losing all this weight, mind you I'm on the smaller side of the height scale, I'm still not content with my body. I have hard days, and easy days, and okay days. And that's life. In the end, being accepting of your body is all a mental game, regardless of your weight. And even though so many people and influences in my life have told me that thousands, no millions of times before, I've just now accepted that idea. I guess that only happens if you've experienced it. 

So there you go, my take on how to approach eating. Just know I'm not a doctor, and all this advice is bs, it's just my experience on weight and getting healthy from a lazy college student's POV. 

Thank you for sticking by me through these odd, but somewhat wholesome entries, I hope that somehow I've shown you that health is super important no matter what age you are. And putting yourself and your needs first in life is not selfish, it's what's right. 

Love you guys infinity squared, 

Jibbs <3