I'm not a doctor, and you're not my patient.
Eat these words at your own risk.
***
Some dark themes and terrible humor may be included... viewer discretion advised *awkwardly shrugs*
Okay, I'll admit it. I had a bit of a struggle today eating mostly raw. But trust me when I tell you that throughout the day it was fine, just after I got home from watching a movie with one of my friends, it became more of an issue.
During the day I didn't eat nearly enough food to be satisfied throughout the day, and that really sucked, because I was doing so well this weekend, but whatever, Imma just let it be because there are so many other things that could have been tougher for me, but weren't, so I'll count my blessings.
Regarding the actual food I consumed during the evening time though, I went absolutely berserk and was eating roasted peanuts, then mangoes, then tortilla chips with miso, then a sesame bagel with probably more smart balance than actual bagel, with red pepper flakes. So as you can see, I went a little crazy, but I'm not that upset about it. Comparing past binge outs, this one wasn't as nearly as bad as the others. I was more mindful about what I was eating. More present. I mean as present as I can be while watching a YouTube video, but still. Pretty good. After a massive eating episode, your girl feels so stuffed that she feels like with one wrong movement, the whole belly gonna burst open. This time it was a bit better, because even though I was in this other place while eating, I was still vegan doing it.
I was mindful that if I'm going to pig out, I would rather harm myself in a way that is fixable with a few days of eating healthy, whereas if I were to eat meat and dairy I would be taking the life of another being that didn't deserve it. Taking the life of something so innocent and precious I can no longer tolerate myself to do, for the sole pleasure of me have a few minutes of indulgence.
Okay, enough with the animals and the planet talk, I know you guys aren't here to hear me ramble about the ethics of eating only plants.
More about my own health journey:
I probably did something that I shouldn't have today though, subjectively-speaking for me, because I'm just ultra sensitive person in general, but when you add my weight into the mix, I'll actually lose my sh*t and have just negativeness exuding from my body about how terrible of a person I am, and all the terrible decisions I made this past week (food wise).
Anyway, as I digress, I just wanted to say I weighed myself today, and was kinda saddened, because in the past that's how I measured my health improvements, by my weight. And I haven't really lost a significant loss of weight. So I've decided even though it might be super tempting, I'm no longer using scales to measure improvements on my health. It's just a number, I'm not gonna sweat it anymore.
I rather focus on how I feel. Do I feel lighter? More energy? Lethargic? I use my body as my guide, because if I do something it doesn't like, it'll be the very first to tell me I f*cked up and did something wrong.
Just want to tell you guys that this past week, I've been pretty good about eating mainly raw, however have had a few hiccups, including today's little oopsy, but other than a few things that I need to focus on, it's not that bad. And nowadays, the thought of meat and cheese don't appeal to me like before.
Not to purposely rant again, but I was in class a few days ago and were talking about the seas and oil and petroleum production, and seeing all these terrible oil spills just made me so frickin' sad. You've no clue, I swear I was like clenching and unclenching my fist during class so much. Lol. This just reinforced the fact that I should do my part to change this world, even though the idea or concept of eating vegan is annoying and outrageous now in some peoples' eyes, I want to be a part of the movement that makes in normalized and possible for every person on this planet to eat a healthy diet, while being about to effectively coexist with other beings. Just what I think.
Sorry if this wasn't really the entry you were looking forward to after and long, and random hiatus, however I feel like I can openly talk about how my diet is going and stop worrying about what others think of me, because as long as I KNOW I'm trying, like really trying to be better, that's all that really matters in the end.
Much love, and enjoy that cheezy conclusion,
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P.S. Lemme know if you guys want to have pictures back, like the OG times when I inserted my meals, because I'll be more than happy to show you visuals, just be vocal and let me know!!!
